It helps to find out what aspects of the wedding are most important to the both of you. Ask your intended what he remembers most about weddings he has been to. What does he picture for two of you? Seeing what his first responses are can help you gauge what is important to him and what to involve him in the most.
Here are 8 groom friendly tasks you can assign to your guy:
- Booking a band or DJ and writing up a play list. Guys won’t be as focused on mushy love songs so have them write a list that is what they would want to hear. Go over it together and add any suggestions of your own before submitting it to your DJ or band.
- Meeting with the caterers/baker. The tastings with the caterers can be a big draw for guys. He can also narrow your cake choices to one or two and bring you back a sample of each.
- Honeymoon planning. Often times we are so busy with napkin colors and flower choices that we book a flight and a hotel and don’t plan much else. Your guy can research things to do at your destination and even make the necessary arrangements.
- Doing the accounting. Even if you have a detailed agreed upon budget some things will change as the planning continues. Let your guy track the spending and keep you both updated on where the finances stand for the big day.
- Handling the transportation. Whether you agreed on trolleys, limos or are going to decorate your own car with tin cans and streamers let your guy plan the transportation for the two of you and your bridal party. Have him make sure there is adequate parking and find the best fit for your day.
- Drinks anyone? Have your guy plan out the drinks for your reception. Are you considering a signature cocktail? Let the groom try his hand at creating it.
- The guest list. Of course both of you want to decide who makes the cut. Once all the invites are sent; however, it really becomes a whole extra job to keep track of responses. Have your guy track them and keep a running count for any and all events surrounding your wedding. Then as the days where you need a final count approach you can both sit down and track down those who haven’t responded.
- The registry. Take your guy along to do the registry. A registry isn’t always all china and tablecloths. Your guy can help steer you towards other things you would both use like camping equipment and electronics. Also the registry scanner gun most stores use can be a fun toy. Or consider having your man make an alternate registry for less typical wedding gifts at another store.
When asking your guys opinion gear your questions towards him choosing one option or the other rather then asking open ended questions. Asking do you want a band or a DJ can yield better results than asking what should we do for entertainment. Open ended questions can earn you a generic “I don’t know whatever you decide is fine”.
Make sure you don’t lose your relationship in the details of planning. Set aside one week a night as a date night where you spend time together and discussing the wedding is completely off limits. Don’t let either one of you wiggle out of it. You have a lot of years ahead of you and the wedding is just one day of that journey. Make sure the planning brings you closer and doesn’t drive you apart.