Getting Remarried, Tips for Those on Their Second Marriage or Beyond – Preparing for the Wedding

It is growing more and more common to be married a second and even third time.  If you included all the bells and whistles the first time you may feel a bit odd planning it the second time.  Realistically it is still your wedding and still a joyous day for you.  It is inappropriate to ask anyone to help pay for a second wedding but otherwise the sky is really the limit.  If someone does offer to help pay you may accept their offer with your thanks.  The same rules apply to a second wedding where someone helps to pay as they do for a first wedding.

  • Wording the invitation can be a little tricky.  Parents aren’t usually mentioned when it is a second marriage for either the bride or groom or both.  If the couple themselves are hosting the wedding and reception it is best the invites be worded as such.  If a parent has offered to help pay because you eloped the first time or they have the means and want to contribute to your happiness you may include the names of parents on the invitation but even then it is not necessary.  If the bride kept her former married name, for the sake of work or children for example, that is the name she should use on the invites.  Going back to your maiden name just for the ceremony is unnecessary.  You should use the name by which everyone knows you and that you use on a daily basis whatever your reasons may be.
  • Announcing your wedding may be a little different this time around.  It is best to tell any children of the news first.  If their other parent is still living and the children are of a mature age ask if they would rather tell their parent or have you do it.  If you have no children with your ex spouse you have no obligation to tell them of your new marriage.  You may want to tell them; however, if you would rather them not hear it from someone else.  After that is settled you may announce your engagement in the usual way.  As with the invitations it should be the happy couple sending the announcements and not the parents.
  • Wedding gifts really aren’t to be expected for a second wedding.  The tradition of gifts is meant to help a couple establish their new household.  With a second marriage, the couple usually either has a household already established or each has their own established and will be combining them.  Because gifts for a second wedding are becoming common anyway it is still appropriate for you to register if you so choose.  Consider registering for supplies for a shared hobby such as camping for all members of your blended family.  Other options include artwork, gardening supplies and the like.
  • Bridal showers for second weddings are also fairly uncommon.  Your friends and family may insist on throwing you one anyway.  Themes may be traditional such as a lingerie party.  Another great theme idea for a second wedding shower is a liquor party.  Guests may be asked to bring liquor, glassware or bar accessories.  This theme can extend to other areas of the home such as stocking the game room or cookout supplies.
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