Many people place their wedding day among the most important days of their lives. Without thorough planning, the process can become stressful for the future bride and groom. To avoid trouble, start with a plan and stay on the same page as your fiancé to avoid a logistics nightmare and a communication breakdown. Do it right and don’t settle for anything less than what you’ve always hoped for.
Above all else, remember you are at the center of the decisions, and trying to please other family members could lead to skirmishes with your future spouse during an already stressful time. A simple adage may be helpful: “No one truly knows the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”
A sweet and romantic first step is to scout venues. Sit with your lover over lunch, and discuss broad concepts of what the right venue would be. If it’s a place of worship that you choose, research their rates for weddings (yes, churches charge for weddings). Then, begin to consider the reception site.
Consider making a bubble chart of all the characteristics of the ideal reception, but don’t forget to remember your budget. It’s fun and memorable to spend the day visiting potential reception sites while taking the time to listen carefully to your partner’s wishes. These are the times you will look back upon fondly as you grow older—don’t squander them by allowing the stress to remove you from the moment.
In an article entitled “How to Avoid Those ‘Inevitable’ Wedding Planning Fights,” Huffington Post offers up a few tips that will help keep men from spending any nights with the dog on the living room couch. One of the most insightful tips is to consider each person’s planning style. By the time you are ready to wed, you ought to know a few things about your beloved other half. You know their personality traits and what irks them, so it’s important to know when to hand over the reins, and when to assert your opinion.
If their strength is in the details, let them worry about the minutiae. If you are a music connoisseur, then it’s your gig to choose what tracks the DJ will be sure to fit in. Play on each other’s strengths and be humble during the process.
Another wonderful tidbit of wisdom offered by couples who have been down this route is to consider how planning time will fit into your current lives. Not everyone has the luxury of dedicating every waking moment to planning, and taking on too much can add extra stress to your professional and personal lives.
If your partner has a smaller workload during the week, let them take on the lion’s share of planning but make sure to stay involved and be helpful when possible. One easy method is to have a set time to discuss wedding matters so you can dedicate your full attention to the big day. Schedule multiple meetings ahead of time into your calendar in anticipation of other appointments and commitments. Treating the planning process as businesslike as possible will pay off in the end and help to avoid last minute scrambling.
Can You DIY?
Many people decide to manage planning the wedding all on their own. It can save you an enormous pile of cash to do it yourself, and, for those control freaks out there, it keeps you in the driver’s seat. If you fall into the DIY wedding planning category, one piece of advice is to at least hire a day-of wedding coordinator. This individual would not have anything to do with the planning process but could help keep everything rolling when the big day comes.
The coordinator makes sure everyone is where they need to be, that the DJ is set for the reception, that the food and place settings are done correctly, and that your aunt remembers there is “no smoking” in the reception hall. Without a manager in place, there could be some last minute stress on the couple.
Keep Your Head Out of the Clouds
A final piece of sage advice is to never forget the nitty-gritty daily tasks of life during the process. If your head is stuck firmly in the cloud of your perfect wedding and every waking moment is dedicated to bringing your dream day to fruition, you may forget to manage your household properly.
It may sound ridiculous, but letting your laundry pile up or letting the house become overrun with dust, dishes, or clutter will drive you absolutely nuts in the weeks leading up to the big day. Plan a day to simply manage life. Couples routinely argue over chores and household needs, so do whatever you can to keep those things to avoid any additional stress.
If possible, consider hiring a maid service or even a laundry service once or twice as the date looms closer. After all, coming home to a mess after your honeymoon is a terrible way to start your happily ever after.