9 Etiquette Tips for Thank You Notes

thank you

The tough part? It’s over.  Between the “Will you marry me?”, the kissing of the bride, and the honeymoon, you spent a significant amount of time and money planning an event to be remembered for all posterity.

But you’re not done yet.  If you’re a newlywed, you’re probably still getting gifts, and may have even started receiving them as soon as you sent out invitations, well before you said your vows.  If marriage is still ahead on the radar, you’ll be able to plan now for the thank you card writing that will soon be coming your way.

Look at these 9 tips as guidelines while writing thank you notes.  Some might come in handy, others might not.  Either way, they’re things that we think are important to know.

  1. Start with the guest list. Your guest list is more than just the names of everyone who is planning on attending your wedding.  It can also be used as a list to check off when writing your thank you cards for the gifts that you’ll be receiving or have already received as either a soon-to-be-wed or newlywed.

What we suggest is that you print off a copy of the list and draw columns.  One column should be to note what type of gift was given by the guest, and the next should be there to check off once a thank you note has been sent out.  Having a way to track your progress on thank you note writing will make the process that much easier.

  1. Handwrite each message. Calligraphy-based fonts are indeed beautiful, but nothing beats the handwritten note to thank a person for the kindness they showed by either attending your wedding, giving a gift, or both.  It’s much easier to connect to words that, in theory, emanate from a person’s soul in the form of handwriting, than from a nice, cursive-type font that may also be heartfelt, but comes from a computer.  Make sure you’re in the right mindset to handwrite your thank you notes.
  1. Divide up the work. Even if you just invited a small number of guests to your celebration, you’ll be surprised at how much time it can take to think of just the right thing to say for even the closest person.  You only have so much space, and for those who aren’t so near and dear, it might take a little more time to think of the right words to write.

One tip would be to recall something special that person did during the wedding in order to make a message more personalized.  To lessen the load, we suggest divvying up the note-writing, planning to complete a certain number per day.  In this way, your mental well of ideas will have time to refill.

  1. Thank people within the proper time frame. If a gift is received before the wedding, thank you notes should be sent with the receipt.  If the gift is received after the wedding, a thank you note should be sent within three months.
  1. Thank you notes should be sent separately for each event. What this means is that if the same person attends a wedding-centered event and gives you a gift at each event, this person gets a separate thank you note for each gift.  So, if Brittany gives a gift for both your bridal shower and wedding, she should receive a separate thank you note for each gift.
  1. Find a special place for thank you note writing. Do you have a special place for doing work?  It might be helpful to designate an area in your home to write thank you notes.  It will get you in the mindset to focus on this and only this.
  1. Personalize the note when appropriate. If you share a special history with a person, don’t be afraid to highlight it when appropriate.  Also, if a person did something particularly memorable or heartfelt over the course of the planning process or wedding ceremony, acknowledge it.  Acknowledge a beautiful speech, tip a great vendor, or remember anyone’s encouragement in the note.
  1. Don’t mention the amount of money. A word like “generous” works well instead, and also share with the gift giver how you might use the gift.  People love to know that their efforts have been worthwhile.
  1. Don’t forget the people who have attended. Write a note to all of the attendees.  It can sometimes take a lot to attend a wedding, considering the varied locations where loved ones can live.  So, don’t forget to thank even the attendees.

We hope that these 9 tips will make your thank you note crafting worthwhile, and that you will also find some enjoyment in acknowledging those who will make your wedding all the more special, or who already have made this day one to remember.

We offer a great selection of thank you cards starting at less than $1/person.  Check out the selection which includes unique designs from Avery Thank You Cards and Freshly Bloomed Letterpress Thank You Cards.  Select a design that will make your words all the more memorable.

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