Your wedding is obviously all about you. So you want your wedding party to be people close to you that you get along with. This will make the day special and not a disaster. Here are a few tips to help you decide who these special people should be.
Remember your bridal party should be proportional to the amount of guests you ae going to have. If you are only inviting 100 people do not have 10 attendants in your bridal party. Most wedding planners advise 1 attendant for every 50 guests. So if you are having a large wedding you can have a large bridal party and if you are having a small, intimate wedding, then you want to have a small bridal party.
You want to keep your budget in mind when selecting the bridal party. More people in the bridal party mean more potential complications and added expenses. More bridesmaids means more people to agree on the dress, more accessories to get, more bouquets, more thank you gifts to buy. More groomsmen mean more tuxes to fit, more flowers, and again more gifts and accessories to buy.
Family should be chosen over friends. If it is a tie between your sister and sister in law then go with your sister. If it is a toss up between your sister in law and your friend of 15 years then go with who you are closest to. You want the bridal party to be made up of people you can trust, who are dependable, who have some taste, who are an active part of your life and who you can be comfortable around. If your thinking of having a friend from school be part of the wedding then make sure you actually know that person as well as you think you do. You do not want any personality clashes or surprises right before the wedding. If the bride or groom has a sibling you might want to include them in the bridal party.
Do not exclude someone just because you think they cannot afford it. Ask who you want to ask and if they have to decline then ask them to do something else in the wedding that is not as much of a financially burden. Do not make people feel obligated to be in the wedding even though they cannot afford it. That will end up putting a strain on your relationship and could cause problems for the big day. It is simple; if they cannot afford it, then they cannot afford it.
Remember that men can be bridesmaids; they would be called a bridesman. Women can be groomsmen; they would be called a groomswoman. Do not exclude your best friend just because they are of the opposite sex. If your spouse to be is ok with it, then why not have them in the wedding.
You can have two maids of honors or two best men. If there are two people that you are equally close to and you can’t decide between them, then have them both be a maid of honor or a best man. There’s no need to agonize over the decision or pick one over the other and hurt someone’s feelings.
You can have an uneven number of groomsmen and bridesmaids. If the bride has more people she wants in the wedding than the groom, or vice versa, then let them have them all in the wedding. You will just have to change the way they walk down the aisle, but that should not be that big of a problem.
If you want your bridal party to be even and the groom has too many people, let them all be in the wedding. Just make some of them ushers instead of groomsmen. They still get to be an important part of the wedding and there are no hurt feelings or controversy.
Remember that these are just a few tips; they are not set in stone. Your wedding is your day and all about you. So ultimately the decision is yours to make.