Getting Remarried, Tips for Those on Their Second Marriage or Beyond – The Ceremony, Reception & Honeymoon

Many of the ideas we have about what may be improper for a second wedding are no longer valid for a second wedding.  For example a woman who is a bride for the second time can still wear white or whatever color suits her and her wishes.  Traditional vows are also permitted.  You may elect to substitute them for vows that more personally reflect your situation or make an addition indicating how lucky you are to have been blessed with a second chance at happiness and love.

  • You may still walk down the aisle and have attendants at your second marriage. Some couple will have grown children be attendants and others may limit the wedding party to one attendant each for the bride and groom.  It is perfectly acceptable however to have a full wedding party if that is what you choose.  Any children of the couple should be given a special role in the ceremony if they choose to accept it.  Depending on their age and what they are comfortable with the roles they can choose from are numerous. Roles may include ring bearers, flower girls, attendants, junior attendants and readers.  Some couples choose to add extra vows joining their new blended families or ask the priest to say a special blessing to join their families after the marriage vows.  These vows can also be incorporated into a civil ceremony or replaced with the lighting of a unity candle by all members of the family rather than just the happy couple.  Some may not feel comfortable with any of this and choose to skip it altogether.  If the parents of young children are still living it is best to consult them before adding any such options to your ceremony or reception.

Some couples may choose to write their own vows for their second wedding and even give mention to a deceased spouse if it applies.  You and your intended should have an open discussion regarding this.

  • You may choose to have a full reception for your second marriage. Maybe you want to give the start of this union all the benefits your first one had.  Maybe you eloped the first time and want a chance at the grand affair you never had.  Regardless the choice is yours and a full reception complete with toasts and a wedding cake is perfectly acceptable.  If you didn’t include anything special to acknowledge the blending of your new family it is perfectly acceptable to do some sort of celebration of unity at the ceremony.  Be it a joint speech by the bride and groom acknowledging the blending and promising to love all members, a ceremony involving candles, or the pouring of sand by all members.  In any case it should be discussed in advance by all involved.
  • Honeymoons are perfectly acceptable for second marriages as well. If there are young children some couples elect to take a family trip instead.  Including everyone in the honeymoon can be a great way to promote unity.  Once again the living parents of any young children should be consulted.  For couples with grown children or none at all a honeymoon can be a wonderful beginning to a new life together.
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