Through meltdowns, laughter, anticipation, and tears of happiness, it is your job to play the role of advisor, party planner, referee, and friend as the maid-of-honor (MOH). To make sure you are prepared for everything that being a maid-of-honor calls for, we’ve create a list of important things you should know in this involved role:
1. As a MOH, You Need to Manage the Bridesmaids: Make sure that all of the bridesmaids deliver on their commitments and duties, get their bridesmaids dresses fitted in time, and are all uniform and ready for the big day. You also need to coordinate with them on parties you will be throwing like the bridal shower and bachelorette party to make sure they attend and support the bride.
a. Don’t get along with one (or more) of the bridesmaids? Remember that the bride chose you to be her maid-of-honor because she knows you will do a wonderful job and that you want to ensure that she has the perfect wedding that she has always dreamt of. Put aside any animosity or sensitivity with others in the bridal party and remember that you all are there for the bride.
2. As a MOH, You Need to Throw a Bridal Shower: While this may seem like a relatively simple party to plan, don’t be fooled. Arranging everything from the location, theme, compiling a guest list, coordinating activities, and catering (to name a few) are extremely challenging and time consuming.
When planning, keep in mind what type of personality the bride has, her interests, and that this is all about her and her big day.
a. If you need some help, consider connecting with the bride’s mother who will most likely be able to offer suggestions or inside information on what the bride would like.
b. Since the planning process takes a lot of effort, feel free to enlist the help from the rest of the bridal party. This will help lift a huge load off of your list of things to do and give you some extra time to allocate to other projects.
c. Remember to have a pad of paper and a pen handy to record all of the gifts that the bride receives so she can send thank you letters. If you don’t want to do this, delegate it to one of the bridesmaids.
3. As a MOH, You Need to Plan a Bachelorette Party: While a bachelorette party is usually kept secret and only revealed the day of the event, we encourage you to speak with the bride and ask her what she would like to do. This will help you get your creative juices flowing and will help avoid any unforeseen issues (or uncomfortable moments!) during the party.
4. As a MOH, You Need to Help the Bride Find the Perfect Dress: Usually, the maid-of-honor goes dress shopping with the bride. If you are attending the appointments to try on dresses, be sure to remember to be kind and aware of the bride. If she is trying on a dress that you’re not particularly fond of, it’s okay to voice that opinion, however, remember that it is HER big day and it is HER who will be wearing the dress. If she really likes it, be a good friend and encourage her to get whatever makes her feel beautiful (within budget).
5. As a MOH, You Need to Be Supportive: While it may seem like a full time job, the reason the bride chose you to be her maid-of-honor is because she trusts, is close to, and can depend on you. It is important to keep this in mind during all of the chaos that may ensue before she embarks off on her walk down the aisle. Help her get ready, make sure that all small issues are taken care of, and most of all, make sure she is happy and beautiful before she says “I do!”
6. As a MOH, You Need to Handle the Flowers: During the wedding ceremony, you are expected to hold the bride’s bouquet after her walk down the aisle. This will be the same bouquet that is used for the “bouquet toss”, so treat it with care and do not lose it.
7. As a MOH, You Need to Make a Speech: After the wedding, it’s time to celebrate the newlyweds at the wedding reception. During this time, traditionally, the maid-of-honor will deliver a speech. This speech should be written and practiced far in advance to make sure it is really to be given cohesively and that it flows naturally. To ensure that you cover everything you wrote, use note cards to keep you on track.
a. Make sure when writing it out that it has a positive, upbeat, personal, and light-hearted feel to it, avoiding anything that may be potentially embarrassing or awkward.