My “Something Old” Dilemma

My future mother-in-law has eagerly suggested that I wear her wedding veil as my “something old”. My own mother has offered her veil as well. While their offers are sweet and the thought of wearing such a special, personal item is tempting, I don’t know how to respond. I don’t want to hurt either of them! What should I do?        –Anna in WA

Oy vey! Ultimately, you are going to have follow your gut on this one. I am happy to offer some friendly advice, but there is no wrong answer here and in the long run…only you can truly make this decision.

Maybe you could start by having a heart-to-heart with your own mother. Share your feelings with her. It will make the whole dilemma a lot less awkward if you speak up now rather than later. Personally, as someone who did wear her own mother’s veil on her wedding day, I’d have a hard time accepting my mother-in-law’s offer over my own mother’s. But, that’s just me. I tend to be overly sentimental. If my mother-in-law had offered at the time and she happened to have the most drool-worthy veil I had ever seen, I may have felt differently.

Lori's Veil- Her Something OldImages: My”something old” veil; My mother and I on my wedding day. Photos by Melissa Perella Photography.

On that note, have you taken a look at both of their veils? Do they go with your wedding dress? Do they have that certain look you’ve been envisioning? Maybe you can’t stop picturing yourself in a vintage birdcage veil and neither your mother-in-law’s nor your mother’s veil will really work for you? Think about what you want. Then, do that!

Have a question for Ask a ‘Roo, Email Lori at


The opinions expressed in Ask a Roo posts are my own and may or may not necessarily represent or imply the views or policies of The Green Kangaroo, Inc.


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