Q: I’d like to list my registry information on my wedding invitation. I’d also like to tastefully note that I’d prefer to receive only gifts that are listed on our registry. How should I note this request? — Hannah from SC
A: Oh, my! You’ll have to forgive me, but I just laughed out loud a little! You may want to think about this a bit more carefully before proceeding. Though, we would never tell a customer not to list their registry information on their invitation if that is what they truly want to do (it’s your prerogative), we don’t recommend it. In fact, Emily Post says not to ever include registry lists in your wedding invitation, even if the store personnel where you registered assures you that it’s okay! The tried-and-true method of conveying registry information is word of mouth. People will ask and the word will get around! You don’t want to convey an image of expectedness within your invitation, so subjects as gifts should be broached carefully.
Remember that although wedding gifts are considered a social obligation in our society, they are still gifts. The choice of the gift is, and should be, up to each individual guest. You may have the very best of intentions, but requesting that guests present you with only items listed on your wedding registry is going to come across with a negative tone no matter how sweetly you manage to phrase it. You don’t want your guests to feel as if you think they have bad taste or that you wouldn’t want a personal gift from them. You may not say those words, but that is what they are going to hear.
Sometimes the very best gifts come in the form of a thoughtful surprise!
For more on gift gifting, check out a previous Ask a ‘Roo article called “The Art of Gift Giving!”
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