Why Sometimes It’s Okay to Be a Bridezilla
Many soon to be brides have planned the details of their weddings and all of the surrounding events, attire and everything else since they were young girls. Even brides to be who never gave it a thought get caught up in planning and have a vision all their own when the time comes to actually plan the wedding day. Most brides want it all, perfect timeless wedding invitations, a dress fit for a queen and the perfect first dance. The problem for most brides is that it is impossible for everyone to share their exact vision.
While a bride’s main focus for a year or two may be their wedding, it is usually not the case for almost everyone else involved. They have lives of their own after all. No wonder so many brides have huge breakdowns over tiny details. Shouldn’t their choice of flavors for a wedding cake be everyone’s first priority? Some things actually deserve a bride’s wrath. Sometimes a girl just has no choice! Here is a fun guide on how to be a responsible bridezilla and save the meltdowns for when it matters most.
Bridezilla Free Pass Moments:
Prolonged lack of communication: If a bride has sent in some questions to their florist/caterer/DJ and patiently (or not so patiently!) waited for a reply. A week passes and the bride sends a friendly reminder. Maybe she gets caught up in the other details and two more weeks have passed and still no reply. So the bride has a mini freak out steaming at her computer as she sends yet another email. The vendor sends a vague reply about how busy the vendor has been. Enter bridezilla. Wedding vendors are very busy but the way they will stay busy is not just having good services but good communication as well.
Vendors can’t be expected to sit by their computer instantly replying to inquiries from every bride, but when a vendor is consistently remiss in answering even basic questions, a budding bridezilla deserves a mini meltdown, even if she has already asked a million and one questions and the vendor can practically copy and paste their reply to her from earlier in their emails. If the bride’s wedding is a year and a half away the florist may not be super concerned about the bride’s flower choices because they can make changes up until 2 to 4 weeks before the wedding. If they have communicated that to the bride and asked that she wait another 6 months until the next meeting, a bride should be mindful of that and keep her questions to general policies rather than specific flower choices.
Brides may very well change their minds in 6 months to a year! Unless it is a situation like that however, a bride deserves communication. People who get in the wedding industry need to be able to deal with snarky, anxious, detail obsessed women on a regular basis and make each bride feel like they are the vendors’ only client.
Irreversible damage and mistakes: If the seamstress took an inch too much from the wedding gown’s train and there is still time to fix it, the bride may be anxious but this is no excuse for a meltdown. If the seamstress caught the bodice of the wedding dress on something and ripped through the beading and material irreparably a week before the wedding you deserve a meltdown for sure.
Attire issues: Most bridesmaids will more than likely have something to say about how the bride is asking them to dress. Most will be flexible as long as you are considerate of their body types and taste. Sometimes you will have a difficult bridesmaid who absolutely refuses to cooperate. Your mother-in-law may insist on wearing the same color as the bridesmaids or a red sequined gown with a thigh high slit. The best bet is to calmly communicate the wedding attire and see where everyone involved can come to meet on common ground.
Total disregard: Sometimes parents are paying for part of the wedding and think they can invite anyone, even someone the bride or groom can’t stand. Sometimes people insist on bringing children when the reception is adults only. It is okay to deal with these situations quickly and firmly and stand by the vision the bride and groom have for their wedding.
Remember to meltdown responsibly! That white dress that the groom’s sister wore to the wedding when the bride was in white may seem like it would look better covered in a glass of red wine or maybe even set on fire but neither of those actions are a good idea. Bridezillas also don’t want to say things that are personal attacks. Personal attacks can do irreparable damage to friendships and family relationships. Bridezilla moments should focus on what happened that directly affected the wedding or the wedding planning.
Name calling, cursing and attacks questioning the recipients’ status as a capable human being really won’t get anyone anywhere. It is okay to get upset and even use some harsh wording. It is ok to cancel contracts and lose a deposit in some cases. It is okay to put awful reviews on websites and tell everyone about the awful DJ who played the chicken dance when he was expressly asked not to play the chicken dance. If you do have a bridezilla meltdown, acknowledge it and move on to the next step. Hopefully you fought fair and all will be forgiven when the stress of the wedding is long gone.