Sticky Situations – Who do I Have to Invite?

There are so many “dos” and “don’t” involved in saying I DO! Different sources quote different answers to the same questions and every family and social circle is different. With so many factors to consider it is hard to find a right and wrong answer to all those little nagging etiquette questions. When all else fails you really must do what is best for you, but keep in mind that your guests are just that, guests, and it is important to treat them as such.

Over the next several weeks, our Monday segment will explore some common situations that may or may not arise when planning your big day.

Who do I HAVE to invite?

If we all lived in fairy tales a wedding budget wouldn’t be an issue and we could invite every last cousin, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. But budgeting is an issue, as are family dynamics. Immediate family really must be on the guest list unless circumstances dictate otherwise. Parents, stepparents, siblings and grandparents are considered immediate family. As for attendants, a maid of honor and best man is traditional, after that the number of attendants you have is really up to you. Keep in mind there will usually be a rehearsal dinner where you need to feed all of your attendants and it is traditional for the bride and groom to give all of their bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts. After immediate family you should realistically draw the line based on how close the two of you are to certain parts of your family. Yes the bride’s family may be upset to hear the grooms second cousins were invited and hers were not. The proper way to address this if it is mentioned is to simply say the groom’s family is closer then yours.

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