Everyday Etiquette – Charitable Donations as Gifts

Question:

We are a middle aged couple in no need of gifts to get started. We would like our guests to bring non-perishable food for our local food pantry instead. How can we get the word out? Would an enclosure in the wedding invites be tacky?

Kathy

The Everyday Etiquette Answer:

Kathy,

What a wonderful idea! Traditional wedding etiquette suggests that references to gifts, no gifts, etc. should not appear on or with an invitation. I always recommend that you let family, close friends, the wedding party, etc. know of your wishes and “get the word out” in that way.

If you feel this chain of communication would not work, then a tasteful enclosure stating that: Your presence is our gift. On such an enclosure, you can mention that a donation of food to the local food pantry would be a wonderful blessing for the needy. While this would not receive the official “stamp of approval” etiquette-wise, it would register very high on the generosity and selflessness meter.

I send all my best wishes for a wonderful life together.

Ms. Carey

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