• Know the answer - Plan ahead; this is not a decision to be made on the spur of the moment. Think it through and don’t propose marriage unless you and your girlfriend have discussed marriage. Don’t rush out, buy a ring and surprise her with a marriage proposal when she is least expecting it. You might end up discouraged and hurt if her answer is no.
• Timing is everything - Don’t plan on proposing when she is stressed or overwhelmed. You want to make sure she is in a good frame of mind when you are proposing. Make it a special time for both of you; don't propose while she is standing in the bathroom brushing her teeth.
• Ask permission - If you are a traditional kind of guy, ask her parents for their blessing before proposing to your girlfriend. They’ll appreciate the gesture and more than likely your bride-to-be will too.
• Be creative - Even if you have discussed getting married, there is no reason you can’t still surprise her and make the proposal special. Choose a memorable place, song, or occasion that you shared together, such as where you first met or where you had your first kiss. Set a romantic tone with flowers, candles and champagne. Most importantly, keep it simple because the proposal story will be told over and over.
• Don’t go overboard - Stay within your budget or financial capability. The general rule is that you should spend about twice your monthly salary on the engagement ring. Obviously if you can’t afford this then don't do it. Buy what you can afford. Don’t forget that the proposal is made up of more than just the ring. Be sure to set some money aside for the restaurant or whatever your plans are.

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• The Engagement Ring - Decide if you are going to purchase an engagement ring before or after you propose. It is extremely important to get her input on the engagement ring, unless she really wants you to surprise her. Remember that you want her to wear this ring for the rest of her life. How can you expect her to wear something for the rest of her life without at least knowing what style she prefers? If you want it to be a surprise, consider just purchasing a loose diamond (or other gemstone) and presenting it to her when you propose. Tell her you want to go shopping with her to set the stone in a setting of her choice. If you want her input. but still want it to be a surprise, take her ring shopping and have her pick out her 3 favorites and then you can decide later which one to actually buy. That way you know she’ll like it and she won’t know which one she is getting.
• Insurance - Once you have purchased the ring, one of the first things you should do is get it insured. An engagement ring can be added for an additional cost under most homeowner’s or renter’s insurance policy.
• Wedding Planning - Be prepared to talk about wedding plans as soon as you get engaged and for months to come. Wedding planning is an involved process with lots of decisions to be made. Your bride-to-be will want at least a little input from you. Trust us, it’s easier to help than it is to fight about the fact that you’re not helping. Picking out flowers or looking at pictures of cakes might not be your idea of a good time, but you're doing it for her and she’ll appreciate it.
• Start Spreading the News - Once you have proposed and she says yes, let the people that matter most in your lives know the happy news. This can be handled by making phone calls, or if you want to surprise everyone, invite them to a party and announce your engagement. You might also consider sending out announcement cards. That way people you don't talk to all the time and distant relatives can know too. Don’t forget to announce your engagement in your local newspaper. Most papers still print your announcement with a picture for little to no cost.
• Celebrate - After you propose, celebrate the moment. This can be done with a bottle of champagne, over a romantic dinner, red roses, or anything that you both enjoy.

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For centuries, asking for a parent’s blessing or permission to marry their daughter has been a standard part of an engagement. The perspective groom would present gifts of enticement to the intended bride’s family to gain their approval. The gifts were often livestock, cloth, spices, gold and silver. If the exchange was deemed worthy, the parents would give him permission to ask for the daughter’s hand in marriage. Now asking for a woman’s hand in marriage is sometimes viewed as an antiquated practice. But if done correctly, it can be a beautiful and meaningful moment, and an opportunity to both honor and bond with your future in-laws.

The principle behind asking her parents is to convey your sincere love for their daughter and your intention to have her hand in marriage. When asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage, let them know you promise to take care of her in every way possible and that you love her with all your heart and that you will cherish and protect her. You also might want to let them know how you intend to take care of her financially. It will make her parents feel more at ease knowing that you are able to take care of their little girl.

What is the best way to ask for their permission? If you live close-by, the easiest thing to do is to call and ask if you can stop by for a moment as you have something to ask them. They’ll probably suspect, but that’s okay as it will give them time to be prepared and know what to say. If you are friends with them, you might see if they want to go out to dinner. If her parents live far away, try to call at a time when you think they’ll be home. If her parents are still married, and you happen to call at a time when only one is available, simply say that you have something you want to ask them, but would like to wait until you can ask them both together and when would be a good time to do so.

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Now, what do you say? Start out by saying a sentence or two about your love for their daughter. Then say something about why you feel now is the time to move the relationship to the next level, and follow it by asking for their blessing. For example, you might say, "As you know, I love your daughter very much. She is the most beautiful, intelligent and loving woman a man could ever ask for. We’ve been together for almost three years now, and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else but her. I would like to ask her to marry me and I’m here today to ask you for your blessing." It is simple, yet sweet.

What do you do if her parents are divorced? If her parents get along still, ask them out to dinner and ask them both for permission for their daughter’s hand in marriage. If her parents don’t get along, you should ask them separately. First, ask the parent she has lived with most (or ask the parent that is the most approachable) and then ask the other parent. If she is estranged from one of her parents, just ask the parent she is closest to. This situation will need to be handled with the utmost delicacy.

You’ve made all the plans and prepared your speech, now what do you do if her parents say no? If her parents do not give their blessing, don’t lose your temper and fly off the handle. Find out why they will not give their blessing. Perhaps they want you to finish school or have a steady job before getting married. You should discuss the situation with your girlfriend, but avoid asking her to take sides. Decide together whether it is best to wait until you can earn their blessing or go against her parents wishes. Try your best to appreciate their reasoning since the decision almost certainly comes out of love for their daughter.

Good Luck!

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