18 June 2008
One of the biggest wedding decisions you will have to make is what kind of invitations to buy. Your wedding invitations will set the mood for your wedding ceremony and reception. If you are planning a formal, black tie event, you might choose an invitation that is plain white or ivory with black ink. If you are having a themed wedding, try incorporating that theme into your invitations. For example, if you are having a beach-themed wedding, select an invitation with shells, a lighthouse, or a couple walking along the beach. Don’t forget to integrate your wedding colors into your invitations as well. By selecting a colored ink or an invitation that contains accents in your wedding colors, your guests will know your colors and be able to dress appropriately. Ideally, you should begin shopping for your invitations as soon as you know the date, time and location of your wedding. The American Wedding offers quality invitations and accessories at prices significantly lower than what you are likely to find at your local stationery shop or printer. We also offer free samples of most of our invitations and enclosure cards, as well as many of our accessory items like napkins, cake bags, matches, place cards and bookmarks. As you can tell, we're a little biased. No matter where you shop, or who you choose to buy your invitations from, be sure to request samples of both paper quality and any applicable colors before placing your order. You want to make sure the invitations and accessories are a good quality and will compliment your wedding colors. Once you have decided where to purchase your invitations, you should prepare your guest list so that you will know how many invitations to order. You will need one invitation per couple and one invitation per single guest. Remember, children ages sixteen and over should be sent a separate invitation. We always advise that you order at least 25 more invitations, envelopes and accessory cards in case of last-minute guest additions, mistakes and keepsakes. Read Part 2 >>  Permalink
20 June 2008
<< Read Part 1
There are two major types of printing processes used in creating invitations. Engraved invitations are used for the most traditional, formal weddings, and are the most expensive. This process involves raising the letters above the paper by pressing the paper into a metal plate. The second type of process is Thermography. This is a process of fusing ink and powder on paper to create raised letters. It produces the similar look of engraving, but at a much lower price. This process also allows you to choose from a larger variety of ink colors and typestyles. The American Wedding uses the thermography printing method on most of our invitation styles, offering over 20 ink colors and 50 typestyles. Once you have decided where and what to order, it is time to decide what you want your invitations to say. You should be sure to include who is hosting the wedding, the date, time and location. If you are ordering reception and respond cards, make sure you have the details for these as well. Consider ordering your thank you notes at the same time, as you will begin receiving gifts shortly after sending out your wedding invitations. Once you have confirmed all the details and decided what you want your invitations to say, it is time to place your order. If you order from The American Wedding you can order several ways—by phone, mail, fax or online. We have trained professionals who can assist you in your ordering needs and can give you advice on wording, etiquette and answer any questions you may have. Once you have placed your order, just sit back and wait for them to arrive. Once you receive your wedding invitations, be sure to check them over to make sure everything is correct. If you are hiring a calligrapher to address your envelopes, make sure they get all the envelopes (including the extras) in plenty of time to do the job. After you have received your envelopes back from the calligrapher, gather your bridesmaids together and have a ‘stuffing’ party. Create an assembly line to assemble the invitations and accessory cards into the envelopes. If you are including respond cards, don’t forget to put a stamp on the respond envelope! When you have all the invitations assembled and sealed in their envelopes, take a few to the post office to be weighed. Slapping on a normal stamp on the envelopes may be not enough to cover the postage and you don’t want your guests to pay postage due on your invitations. Once the postage has been determined for your invitations, put stamps on your invitations and mail. Now that you have this major wedding detail in the bag, you can scratch this off your wedding to-do list.
7 July 2008
While you might have the perfect places in mind to get married and hold a reception, make sure the two venues are close enough together. Out of consideration for your guests, the two should be as close together as possible. Ideally, you want your guests to be able to witness your vows and then to celebrate with you. As a general suggestion, try to keep the travel distance under 20 miles from ceremony to reception. If your reception site is further away than 20 miles, then be sure to make it a special destination for you as well as your guests. Most people will make the effort to go wherever they are invited, but if you make it too far away, be prepared to have some guests attend the ceremony and go home. You might also have others skip the ceremony and only attend the reception. Keep this in mind as you decide on the two sites.
If you are fortunate enough to live in an area that has a community center or public club house, you may want to consider those options. That way your guests will be at the church and have a drive of only a few miles. Research your local area and you may be surprised to find a wonderful venue for the reception only minutes away from the ceremony site.
If you choose to have your reception at a favorite restaurant or site that requires a hefty drive, be sure to allow plenty of time between the ceremony and reception for travel. Take into consideration "rush hour" traffic or road construction along the routes your guests will be using.
A real life example of this principle:
A wedding ceremony held at an old cathedral in the Italian district of Chicago (the bride's hometown) where the reception is held 5 hours later at an Italian restaurant in northern Indiana (the groom's hometown). Allowing for so much time in between allows guests the time to explore "little Italy" and discover the wonderful shops and wares. More cautious guests would also have more than enough time to make a leisurely drive despite any traffic or road construction to the northern Indiana town and relax between events. In order to justify the drive, however, the reception site would have to be an unforgettable celebration.
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14 July 2008
While there really is no way to tactfully ask for money in lieu of wedding gifts, if you do not register anywhere, most of your friends and family will take the hint. Since most of your guests will be people you and your fiancée are acquainted with, they will know that either you have everything you need to set up your new home together, or that you are the type of person who enjoys shopping for yourself. Some people may ask a close friend or relative about what things are needed, and then it would be appropriate for the answer to be that the couple has everything under control. Again, most people will take the cue and send a monetary gift. Under NO circumstances should your wedding invitation state anything regarding gifts and/or money! This is considered very tacky and bordering on rude. You might end up with some unwanted gifts, but most department stores will gladly give an in-store credit or even refund the purchase price, even without a gift receipt. When you write thank you notes, express your gratitude for the item you received. You do not need to mention you returned it. There is no need to have hurt feelings. Some couples that have all they need of day-to-day items might decide to register for only formal china, crystal and silverware. No matter what you register for, the gift registry information should never be included on your wedding invitations. This information belongs on the shower invitations, or on your wedding web site if you have one. A good thing to keep in mind when it comes to questions like this is to ask yourself how you would feel if you received an invitation that requested money or only high-priced gifts. No matter what type of wedding gifts you receive, always remember to be gracious in your thanks.
23 July 2008
The short answer is yes and no. Although the traditional receiving line is still done at most weddings, there are alternatives.
The first alternative is unconventional, but very well received. After the bride and groom have been pronounced husband and wife, they walk to the back of the church and the wedding party follows them out. The best man then announces that all guests should remain seated. The newlyweds make their way back to the front of the sanctuary and go row by row greeting their guests as they exit. This is a wonderful way for the bride and groom to personally acknowledge each and every person who witnessed their vows. During this time, the bridal party has the opportunity to gather their belongings and to prepare for any remaining photo sessions in the church. Once the last row of guests have been greeted, the newlyweds can head back to the front of the church for their couple photos. Be sure to inform the photographer of your plans ahead of time.
Traditionally, the receiving line in the foyer of the church has all the attendants. This also leaves room for an alternative. It is perfectly acceptable to have only the newlyweds, their parents and grandparents in line to receive congratulations. Most people, including attendants, feel a bit awkward shaking hands with everyone who comes out of the church.
Some couples opt to form the receiving line at the entrance to the reception hall. They greet guests as they arrive for the reception. This works best when there is some time between the wedding ceremony and reception. If the reception is immediately following the ceremony, often the guests arrive before the wedding party, making it awkward to set up a receiving line. When done at the reception, after all the guests have been seated, the bridal party is announced and enters.
Whether you choose the traditional receiving line, one of the alternatives, or none at all, be sure that you make it a priority to personally greet each and every guest that attends your wedding and reception.
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28 July 2008
Don't be one of those brides who think that just because she is getting married, people should shower her with gifts and not expect anything in return. Show your gratitude by sending out a thank you card. It's a great way to show your appreciation for the gift they gave as well as the thoughtfulness of their generosity. Not only should you send a thank you note for the gifts, but you should also send a thank you to all those who helped or participated in your wedding. Thank you cards should be hand-written. Companies do sell thank you notes with pre-printed messages inside, but this does not make it socially acceptable. While hand-written thank you notes require extra time, it is more polite to personalize your note in your own handwriting rather than have it printed once for all. The recipients will appreciate the time you took to write them out. You should include a line or two referring to the gift and thanking them for attending the wedding. If they were unable to attend the wedding, you can mention that you were sorry they were unable to attend and thank them for their thoughtful gift. Send a thank you note for all gifts, even those gifts you do not particularly like. Remember, it's the thought that counts. Treat monetary gifts as you would other gifts. Don't mention the amount given, instead let them know what you intend to use the money toward. For example, if you were given a $50 gift card from Home Depot, you can mention in the thank you that you plan to use the gift card to purchase new area rug for the living room in your new home. If you received a gift from a group of people (less than 10), you should send a card to each person who contributed to the gift. If the gift was given by a large group, such as an office or club, post a thank you card in a visible location. Be sure to personally thank the contributors individually when you see them. Don't forget to send thank you cards to the people who helped you plan your wedding. This includes your maid/matron of honor, bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents, the officiant, and anyone who was instrumental in helping your event run smoothly. Thank you notes should be sent in a timely manner. As soon as gifts start arriving, you need to send out a thank you note. Your promptness shows more appreciation and better manners, and it reassures guests that their gift was not lost or stolen. For those gifts brought to the wedding and thank you notes to those who helped in the wedding planning, should be issued within two months of the wedding date. If someone sends you multiple gifts for different events (shower and wedding) regardless of how close in time those events may be, you need to send that person a card for each gift. Don't take the cheap way out and send one thank you for both gifts. Make your first impression as husband and wife a good one by sending timely, hand-written thank you notes to all those friends and family who thought enough of you to buy a gift or help plan your special day.
8 August 2008
Some of your guests, especially ones that live out of town, may decide to have your wedding gifts shipped directly to the home of the bride's parents. If they do, by all means open them, but try to have your fiancèe present. Be sure to keep a list in a prominent place to record what was sent by whom and their return address. This will be a real help to you when it comes time to write your thank you notes.
The day of your wedding you will receive the majority of your gifts. There should be a simple table to display the lovely packages as well as a large basket for all the greeting cards. You may choose to open your gifts at the reception. This is usually more appropriate at small weddings where the guests are close friends and family. At larger weddings, opening gifts is usually done sometime after the wedding. If you do open your gifts at the wedding, do so shortly after the cake has been cut, but wait until after the reception to open the cards. The choice is really up to the couple and whatever traditions you choose to observe.
Opening the gifts before the reception should be avoided. Usually the time you have between the ceremony and reception are hectic enough with photos being taken and greeting family and friends.
Remember, no matter when you open your wedding gifts be sure to have a trusted friend or relative nearby to correctly record the item received and the name of the giver. Usually the maid-of-honor takes on this responsibility.
Most wedding gifts come with a standard greeting card or a small gift tag, these are ideal to use for recording the item received. The name of the giver is already on the card. Again, this will be a tremendous help to you when the time comes for thank you cards to be written. It is also fun to go back through the cards years later and be reminded that Aunt Mary gave you that lovely vase.
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18 August 2008
While a receiving line is not necessary, per se, there are some very good reasons to have a receiving line. You get to greet and thank all your guests for attending. Then you can enjoy your reception and not spend the entire time table-hopping, trying to speak to everyone during the reception. A good rule of thumb is, if the wedding is less than 150 to 200 guests, then a receiving line might be a good alternative.
The organization of a traditional receiving line is as follows: Bride's Mother & Father, Groom's Mother & Father, Bride & Groom, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen. It is not necessary for the fathers to be in the line, but if one is, the other should follow suit. It is also not necessary that the entire bridal party stand in the line. If an attendant is a sibling of the bride or groom, it is nice to include them, but not necessary. The line can be modified to include as few as only the Bride & Groom or just the Bride & Groom and their parents, to as many as the Bride & Groom, their parents, their grandparents and the entire bridal party.
Handling divorced parents is a relatively new wrinkle to the traditional receiving line and should be handled as diplomatically as possible. If the two can navigate the situation with civility and grace. The only change in proper procedure is in the order of placement. For example, if the Bride's parents are divorced, do not have them stand next to each other, as it can be confusion and lead people to believe they are (still) a couple. Have the Mother of the Bride be on one side of the newlyweds and the Father of the Bride after the Groom's parents.
If either divorced parent has remarried, the order changes a little more, depending on who's hosting the reception. For example, if the Bride's Father has remarried and is solely hosting the reception, the proper order would be: Bride's Stepmother, Groom's Mother, Bride's Mother, Bride & Groom. If the Bride's Mother is hosting or hosting in conjunction with the Bride's Father - Bride's Mother, Groom's Mother, Bride's Stepmother (optional) - is the proper order. Obviously, this can get sticky and feelings can be hurt if things are done the wrong way. In this instance, if the parties involved can not play nice for the day, a receiving line of just the Bride & Groom may be the way to go.
Depending on the complexity of your own receiving line needs, you might decide to just forego one all together. If you do, please be sure to greet each of your guests individually at some point during the day and extend your gratitude to them for being part of your special day.
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5 September 2008
A wedding invitation is always a welcome site in the mailbox. However, if proper wedding invitation etiquette is not followed, problems can arise. When sending out wedding invitations, take extra care to not confuse or possibly insult your guests. Following proper wedding invitation etiquette and protocol is crucial to not giving anyone the wrong impression. Although you may not be able to meet everyone's expectations, by following proper wedding invitation etiquette, you can lower your chances of insulting a potential guest. Adhering to generally accepted guidelines to deal with sensitive invitation issues, such as not inviting children, can make the whole process leading up to the wedding run much smoother. As mentioned before, one of the most glaring points of contention and potential insult comes with the issue of children at a wedding. Many younger couples like to avoid having the little ones at the ceremony and reception because of the potential for misbehavior. Depending on the individuals, it can be difficult to ask a parent to not include their children in any activity. The easiest and most appropriate way to not invite a child is simple; you should leave their name off the invitation entirely. If the name of the child does not appear anywhere on the outer or inner envelopes, then the guest should assume that their child is not invited. Without proper indication, guests may assume their entire family is invited. If you are worried about this happening, even if the child's name is not mentioned on the invitation, there are a few steps you can take. A subtle and indirect method of uninviting children is to let the information that no children will be at the wedding pass through your family and friends. Tell a few people that should not be offended by the fact that the ceremony and reception are for adults only. Then, if anybody has questions, they may likely hear the answer through one of the other sources that children are not invited. If your group of guests may not be in close enough contact with one another, or you are still worried that some parents may try to bring the children along, you can simply specify on the response cards that an adult reception will be held after the ceremony. This will subtly inform your guests that only adults are welcome without singling out any particular family. A final measure that can be taken to ensure that children do not attend is to simply fill out the number of guests slot on the invitation ahead of time. If you specify how many guests are allowed, the invitee should be able to pick up what is going on. These actions are all socially acceptable ways to ensure that children are not at your ceremony.
12 September 2008
A wedding invitation is always a welcome site in the mailbox. However, if proper wedding invitation etiquette is not followed, problems can arise. When sending out wedding invitations, take extra care to not confuse or possibly insult your guests. Following proper wedding invitation etiquette and protocol is crucial to not giving anyone the wrong impression. Although you may not be to meet everyone's expectations, by following proper wedding invitation etiquette, you can lower your chances of insulting a potential guest. Adhering to generally accepted guidelines to deal with sensitive invitation issues, such as not inviting children, can make the whole process leading up to the wedding run much smoother. A major area of wedding invitation etiquette comes in the form of return envelopes. It is generally considered unacceptable to not pay for return postage. Not only is it a nice gesture to your guest to include postage; it also serves to help ensure a quick response. If you give your invitee a stamped and addressed return envelope, it makes the likelihood of a response much higher. Indeed, invitations that do not include a properly equipped return envelope are often shoved at the bottom of a pile of mail to be sent out, and eventually forgotten. If your budget can not handle the cost of postage for your entire guest list, then use return post cards. The fee is smaller with post cards, and there is no social slight in using them instead of an envelope. One other such instance where confusion can occur is when the guest has not R.S.V.P.'d in time. If you receive no reply to your invitation by the date specified, you should wait about a week before taking action. If you are confident enough, you can then call the guests. The best way to bring up the issue is to ask if they have received the invitation. For the most part, people usually have received the invitation and just forgotten about it under the stack of other things they have to get done. If, by some chance, they never received the invitation, you should confirm that you have the correct address and take necessary action from there. If you are uncomfortable with calling, then just assume that the guest is attending. It is always better to have space for your guest should he or she attend, than be unprepared if he or she shows up and were not accounted for. Overall, it is pretty easy to ensure that you do not offend any of your guests. Just take the necessary precautions, and you should have no trouble. Take care of sending the respond cards and then relax and wait for the responses to arrive.
3 October 2008
First of all, establish a manageable budge for your big day. Determine what amount of money all of the parties involved - the bride and her parents and the groom and his parents - can and/or will contribute to the festivities. It is customary for the bride's family to cover the majority of the expenses. Today, it is very common for the bride and groom to finance their own wedding and reception. Traditionally, the bride or her parents pay for the groom's wedding ring, the invitations and reception cards, postage, the wedding gown and the bride's accessories, the fee for the ceremony site, all of the flowers for the ceremony, attendants and reception, gifts and lodging for the brides' attendants, the photographer, music for the ceremony and reception, rented transportation, such as a limousine, and all the reception expenses, which includes the venue rental, food, beverages, entertainment and decorations. The groom or his family usually pay for the engagement and wedding rings, a gift for the bride, lodging for the ushers, the marriage license, the officiant's fee, the bride's bouquet, corsages for the mothers and grandmothers, boutonnieres for the groomsmen, the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon. The maid/matron of honor and bridesmaids typically are responsible for their own gowns and accessories, a gift for the newlyweds, one shower gift, transportation to the wedding and a contribution of time and/or money to the bridal shower. The best man and the groomsmen are responsible to pay for the renting of a tuxedo (or suit) and shoes, a gift for the newlyweds, transportation to the wedding and a contribution to the bachelor party. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the financial aspect of a wedding. Only you know what everyone is willing and able to afford. Establish a budget, stick to it and make your wedding as stress free as you possibly can. Your wedding day should be the happiest day of your life because you will be united with one you love and surrounded by family and friends who love you.
8 October 2008
Very Formal Wedding - Attire: This style of wedding adheres to strict wedding etiquette. The wedding gown should be elegant and traditional, with a long train and veil in a complementary length for the bride. 6-12 bridesmaids wearing floor-length dresses. Mothers of the bridge and groom also wear floor-length dresses. The groom and all the men in the wedding party wear formal attire. If your wedding is scheduled for daytime, cutaways are appropriate. Evening weddings require white tie and tails.
- Stationery: Plain white or ecru invitations with enclosure cards (reception and respond cards) that are engraved, thermograved or letterpressed in black ink. Your wedding stationery should not have any accent colors or decorations (embossed flowers, hearts, etc.). A blind embossed or debossed bevel border is acceptable.
- Ceremony & Reception: The ceremony should take place at high noon, late afternoon or evening, with 200 or more guests invited. The ceremony is followed by a large, lavish reception.
Formal Wedding - Attire: A traditional wedding gown with a chapel or sweep train and a veil for the bride. 2-6 bridesmaids wearing floor- or ankle-length dresses. The mothers of the bride and groom also wear elaborate floor- or ankle-length dresses. The groom and all the men in the wedding party wear formal clothes. Stroller jackets with striped trousers are appropriate for daytime weddings, while evening weddings attire should be black tie.
- Stationery: Your stationery should be the same as for a very formal wedding.
- Ceremony & Reception: The ceremony can take place at any hour of the day, with at least 100 guests. The ceremony is followed by a festive reception.
Semi-Formal Wedding - Attire: A simple floor- or ankle-length dress for the bride with a hat or short veil for the bride. 1-2 bridal attendants wearing ankle-length dresses. The mothers of the bride and groom also wear ankle-length dresses. The groom and all the men in the wedding party wear dark suits.
- Stationery: Invitations with accent colors and designs (flowers, hearts, etc.). They can be printed in raised, letterpressed or matte ink in a color of your choice. Enclosure cards, including map or direction cards are enclosed with the invitations.
- Ceremony: The ceremony can take place at any hour of the day, with fewer than 100 guests. The ceremony is followed by a festive reception.
Informal Wedding - Attire: Informal wedding attire is usually characterized by a suit with a dress that falls just below the knee. The bride has one attendant, usually a maid or matron of honor, wearing a dress that falls just below the knee or a nice pantsuit. The groom and his best man both wear a suit, which can be accented with a colored tie.
- Stationery: A handwritten invitation announcing the location of the ceremony and reception. Send announcements to those who were not invited to your small ceremony.
- Ceremony: The ceremony is held during the daytime. The list is small and only includes relatives and close friends. The reception is usually small, held at a local restaurant or at someone's home.
Please keep in mind that this is just a guideline, not a rule book. You can use your own unique ideas to create the wedding of your dreams. Today's couples are mixing some of the very formal traditions with the semi-formal. The most important thing to remember is to plan a wedding that will make you happy and one that you can look back on with fondness.
17 October 2008
What if your sister, your cousin or even a very close friend suggests sharing your wedding day? Most women, at first, would probably shy away from a double wedding. But if the other bride is your sister, your parents will surely appreciate the substantial savings and the treasured memories. From the start, all of the parties involved should have a group meeting to set the budget, agree on a ceremony site and the reception venue. Consider your relationship with your co-bride. If the two of you are totally different when it comes to fashion, you may want to forget the whole thing. But if you are both fairly main stream, this could work out beautifully. You can choose different dresses and colors just as long as they are complementary to each other. Only one wedding invitation needs to be ordered! This will save on postage as well as your wedding stationery. The wording will be the same as on any other invitation except the older of the two brides and her groom should be listed first. Another obvious savings will be with the flowers and the reception. Most receptions today end up being the biggest expense. But with a double wedding, there will be the benefit of having only one venue to rent, one band to book and one caterer to hire. Make sure to honor the protocol of a double wedding ceremony. The wedding party of the older of the two brides proceeds down the aisle first, followed by the older bride. Then the bridal party for the second bride proceeds down the aisle, followed by the second bride. The same applies when entering the reception hall. Two full wedding parties can get rather large, so make sure the ceremony site and reception area are able to accommodate everyone without looking crowded and chaotic. You also may decide to have a double wedding shower. This is very convenient for your guests. But if you would like to retain some individuality, tactfully request doing some parties and/or showers separately. A double wedding can save on expenses but create a wealth of memories for years to come.
20 October 2008
Your wedding invitations are one of the most important parts of your wedding. So you want them to be correct. Here are a few tips to help you get things right. Abbreviations:It is considered socially correct to spell out all words on invitations, accessory cards and envelopes. For example, you would use road instead of rd., boulevard instead of blvd., etc. There are, however, a few exceptions to this rule. Titles may be abbreviated, for example, Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Dr. Instead of spelling out Saint or Saints, it is acceptable to use St. or Sts. Numerical time should use the abbreviations like a.m. and p.m. When used in a name, Jr. and Sr. can be abbreviated instead of using Junior and Senior. Time:To be socially correct, invitations require that time be spelled out. However, numerals may be used on accessory cards. Invitations: - Time should be spelled out, but never capitalized.
- If the time is on the hour, it should be followed by o’clock. Note the proper way is to have it all
- Lower case with an apostrophe.
- Do not use o’clock if the time is not on the hour.
- Time not on the hour should be hyphenated. For example, one-thirty instead of on thirty or twelve forty-five instead of twelve forty five.
- Time should always be followed by in the morning, noon, in the afternoon, in the evening or midnight. To clarify which is which, 12:01 a.m. – 11:59 a.m. is morning, 12:00 p.m. is noon, 12:01 p.m. – 5:59 p.m. is afternoon, 6:00 p.m. – 11:59 p.m. is evening, and 12:00 a.m. is midnight
Accessory Cards: - Time can either be spelled out using the invitation rules above or numerals may be used.
- When numerals are used, they should be followed by a.m. or p.m. Note the proper way is lowercase and periods.
- Immediately can be used instead of an exact time. The use of immediately and a time is unnecessary. For example, ‘Reception immediately following ceremony’ is correct, but ‘Reception immediately following ceremony at six o’clock in the evening’ is incorrect.
Read: Part 2 | Part 3
22 October 2008
Dates:
On the accessory cards, the date and time formats should be consistent. If a time is not provided, you may spell out the date, abbreviate it or use a numerical date. - Invitations:
The date should be spelled out at all times. It should be preceded by the day of the week and a comma should separate the two. The year should always be on a separate line and may be omitted if desired. A comma should not separate the month and year. Here is an example of the proper way to have the date:
on Saturday, the first of November
Two thousand and eight
- Accessory cards:
If the time is used on the accessory card, be consistent with the date. When the time is spelled out, spell out the date. If you use numerical time, then use a numerical date. If a time is not used, any format is acceptable.
Symbols:
We often see the use of symbols to represent words. This is becoming more and more popular; however, it is a social faux pas. You should never use symbols on the invitation. For example, Mr. & Mrs. should always be Mr. and Mrs.
Capitalization:
Etiquette dictates certain protocols when it comes to capitalization. Names of people and places are always capitalized. When spelling out the year, capitalize the “t” in two, as seen above. Sentences or each new thought on an invitation should always begin with a capital letter.
Zip Codes:
Zip codes do not belong on the invitation or most of the accessory cards. They are appropriate only on the outer envelopes, R.S.V.P. envelopes and at home cards.
Spelling:
You should always ask someone else to proofread your wording. Make sure you play close attention to proper nouns. Many common words are often misspelled or misused. For example, you should use night instead of nite.
Read: Part 1 | Part 3
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24 October 2008
Grammar:Remember that pronouns should be consistent throughout the invitation. If you are using first person pronouns (I, we, us, our and me) use them everywhere. If using third person pronouns (them, they, their) use them everywhere. It is bad etiquette to mix first and third person pronouns. Do not use punctuation, such as commas and periods, at the end of a line in your invitation wording. And vs. To:When both the bride and groom's parents are issuing the invitation, the word between the bride and groom's names should be "and." Example: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
and
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Anne Marie
and
Robert David | When just one set of parents are issuing the invitation, the word between the bride and groom's names should be "to." Example: Mr. and Mrs. Mark Jones
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Anne
to
Mr. Peter Allen Lee
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Respond Date:
The respond date should be two to four weeks before the wedding date. This gives you enough time to count the number of people coming and allows you to plan accordingly. The respond date should always be before the wedding date. You would be surprised how many people get these two dates switched. Be sure to check the dates before submitting the invitation order.
Consistency:
Keep the ink color consistent. If you decide to use blue pearl ink on the invitations then use blue pearl ink on everything. It looks better if all the ink colors match. Use the same typestyle on the invitations and accessory cards. If you use different typestyles it will look mismatched. Use the accessory cards that match your invitations. It makes a nice presentation to your guests if everything is consistent and matches.
Additional Tips:
Make sure you have filled out all the necessary information for every item. Proof read the order before you submit it. Make sure to order enough; it is much cheaper to order a few extra initially than it is to order a few extra later. If your wedding date is more than six months away, consider sending a Save The Date Card six to twelve months before the wedding. Then send your invitations four to six weeks before the wedding.
Read: Part 1 | Part 2
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10 November 2008
Believe it or not, there are some guidelines you should follow when invited to a wedding ceremony. - Even if you know the bride or groom well, never assume that you are invited to the wedding and do not ask
- Be prompt in accepting or declining the invitation. Use the enclosed reply card or write a personal note to whoever is hosting the wedding. Their names will usually be on the first line of the invitation (e.g. parents of the bride).
- If the invitation is addressed to you only, do not ask if you can bring a guest/date (it is a numbers thing). However, it you are engaged, you may bring your fiancé/fiancée. If you are living with someone, be discreet in your request and do not be upset if the answer is "no." Again, it is usually a numbers thing.
- If your children's names do not appear on the invitation envelope/inner envelope, do not ask to bring them. Even if your young children are included in an evening wedding and reception, you may want to give it a second thought for your own enjoyment.
- You should not be invited to a shower if you are not invited to the wedding. Please do not ask to bring a date/guest to a shower. Reply promptly by phone, email or letter. Remember that a shower gift is not a substitute for the wedding present. Save the big gift for the wedding. If you must decline the shower, a gift is not required, but is a nice gesture if the bride is a good friend. If you are invited to multiple showers, do not feel obligated to attend more than one. The additional shower gifts are up to your discretion in this situation.
- If you are a close friend of the bride, groom or family, it would be a nice gesture to buy a gift even if you decline the invitation or receive a wedding announcement. However, a gift is not a requirement. Also, you really do not have a year to send the wedding gift unless there are extenuating circumstances. Nothing beats a great sale, but if you buy a wedding gift on sale, be sure it can be returned and enclose a gift receipt. That goes for all gifts.
- Out of town guests should pay their own hotel bills and do not expect an invitation to the rehearsal dinner
- Try very hard to attend the wedding ceremony. It is disrespectful to skip it for no good reason and only go to the party. Plan on arriving at the wedding site about 15 minutes early. The ushers will not seat you after the mother of the bride has been seated. This is when you stand at the back or quietly slip into an unoccupied seat. Stay seated after the recessional until the ushers excuse you. Please no pictures during the wedding ceremony if it is in a house of worship.
Here are a few reception reminders. - If there is a receiving line, please do not put down your beverage, hors d'oeuvres, etc. and go through the line introducing yourself.
- Do not forget the guest book. Sign your name - Scott Jones; if married, Mary and Scott Jones.
- Remember that the first people on the dance floor are the bride and groom.
- The reception is not a toast making event like the rehearsal dinner. Only make a toast if asked by the newlyweds.
- If you need to leave early, try to wait until the cake is cut.
- When the bride and groom leave the reception, it is you signal that the party is over.
A nice touch, write the host of the wedding reception a thank you note. Their work sometimes goes unnoticed. It will be much appreciated.
11 November 2008
The bride's maid-of-honor may fulfill some or all of the following: - Help in selecting the attire for the bridesmaids
- Help with addressing invitations and place cards
- Attend all parties and showers, if possible
- Hold the groom's wedding band during the ceremony
- Assist the bride when dressing for the ceremony
- Arrange the bride's gown, train and veil before the processional and recessional
- Make sure the bride looks "picture perfect" throughout the day
- Hold the bridal bouquet during the ceremony
- Witness the signing of the marriage certificate
- Stand in the receiving line
- Keep the bride on schedule
- Take care of the bride's gown and accessories after the reception
The groom's best man may fulfill some or all of the following: - Plan and organize a bachelor party
- Help the groom dress and get to the ceremony on time
- Make sure all checks are written for wedding related expenses. (see who pays for what)
- Give the officiant his or her check
- Offer the first toast to the newlyweds at the reception
- Witness the signing of the marriage certificate
- Drive the bride and groom to the reception venue (if a driver was not hired)
- Take care of the groom's wedding clothes after the reception
- Arrange for transportation for the newlyweds after the reception
- Oversee the return of all rental apparel
- Pay for his wedding attire and transportation to the wedding city
- Wedding gift for the bride and groom
Bridesmaids' duties may include: - Arrange and be on time for the dress fitting appointments
- Assist the maid of honor when needed
- Attend showers and parties for the couple
- Help the bride with errands
- Be punctual for the ceremony
- Help gather guests at the reception for the cake cutting and the bouquet toss
- Purchase their gowns and accessories as well as transportation to the wedding city
The groomsmen or ushers' duties may include: - Participate in the bachelor party
- Greet guests
- Check with the head usher for any special arrangements
- Before the processional and after all the guests are seated, put the aisle runner in place
- Have maps available for guests who need directions to the reception venue
- If there is a garter ceremony, participate and encourage other single men to do so as well
- Arrange the return of rented apparel with the best man
- Pay for wedding attire as well as transportation to the wedding city
13 November 2008
Most newlywed couples prefer to have the receiving line immediately following the ceremony and not at the reception venue. Most churches and other wedding sites will have an area large enough to accommodate the traditional receiving line.
Based on the custom of the wedding being hosted by the bride's parents, the traditional order of the receiving line should be as follows: - Mother of the bride
- Father of the bride
- Mother of the groom
- Father of the groom
- Bride
- Groom
- Maid of Honor
- Bridesmaids (optional)
The fathers of the bride and groom are not required to stand in the receiving line but it gives them the opportunity to meet and greet all the wedding guests. If one father stands in the receiving line, it is a general guideline that the other father does so as well. In the case of divorced or remarried parents, the couple hosting the event is first in the receiving line. If both sets of parents are remarried, the same rule applies. The order of the receiving line would be as follows: - Bride's mother
- Bride's stepfather
- Groom's mother
- Groom's stepfather
- Bride's stepmother
- Bride's father
- Groom's stepmother
- Groom's mother
- Bride
- Groom
- Maid of Honor
- The bridesmaids (can be omitted due to line length)
There are certainly an unlimited amount of variables in the case of divorced or remarried parents. It is best that the couple plans early, with their parents, to determine who stands where. The guideline, that the hosts stand first in the receiving line, will come in handy to diffuse any conflicts or hurt feelings. Some fathers would rather circulate among the guests and this would simplify matters for everyone. Whether you have a large or small wedding, you and your family are the hosts. Every guest should feel welcome and appreciated. Let them know you are happy that they came to celebrate your big day.
24 November 2008
If you have ordered your wedding invitations already, you have probably noticed that there are two different envelopes to use. First, there is the outer envelope used for mailing. Everything else goes inside this envelope. Names and addresses are to be completely spelled out; no abbreviations are to be used. The wording can either be centered or spread out. Most of the time the address is centered because it is too long to be spread out. Here is an example: | Mr. and Mrs. John J. Smith
123 South Main Street
New York, New York 10012 | The outer envelope will also have the return address of the person issuing the invitations, for example the bride's parents. The post office prefers that you put on the front upper left corner. This is not proper for an invitation. The proper place for the return address on the outer envelope is the back flap. Again, everything should be spelled out; however, it will just have the address and no names. The inner envelope has no glue and will contain your invitation; the inner envelope goes inside the outer envelope. Your guest's names will be repeated on this envelope, but in a more personal manner. For a couple with children, the parents' names would appear on the first line with the children's names on the line underneath. Here is an example: John and Susan
Johnny and Timmy |
14 January 2009
If you have not been to a wedding in a long time, or have never attended one, you may be asking yourself questions on what you should and should not do at a wedding. So here are a few tips on what is expected: Invitation to the Wedding: When you receive a wedding invitation, do not assume you can bring your entire family to the event. The only people invited are those people listed on the invitation Inner Envelope. If the invitation only has one envelope, then the person or persons listed on the address are the only ones invited. For example, if the invitation you receive is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, then only Mr. and Mrs. Smith are invited. If it reads Mr. Smith and Guest, this means Mr. Smith can bring one guest. If your invitation comes with a respond card, make sure to return the card by the reply date. Do not just assume the couple knows you will be attending and toss the respond card. Even if you do not plan to attend, you still need to respond. The respond card lets the couple know how many chairs to rent, how much food and cake to buy, how many favors to make, etc. If you respond declining to attend, do not change your mind later and show up at the reception, unless you have already made arrangements with the bride and groom. Showing up unexpectedly can throw off the head count and the caterer may not be able to accommodate additional guests. The Ceremony Make sure you dress appropriately for the wedding. Be conservative, unless you are asked to wear a costume or period clothing. Even if the wedding is casual, low cut dresses, short skirts, T-shirts, cut-off shorts, etc. are really tacky for a wedding. If the wedding is being held outdoors, be sure to wear appropriate footwear. You do not want to wear high heels at a beach wedding. Do not upstage the bride by wearing a white, ivory, or cream colored dress. The bride is the ‘star’ of the day and you should not try to compete by wearing a dress similar in color to hers. Be on time. You should arrive 10 to 15 minutes before the time listed on the invitation. However, if you arrive during the procession, you should wait until the bride has gone down the aisle before entering and quietly taking your seat. During the ceremony and reception, turn off your cell phones and pagers or set them to vibrate. Better yet, do not take them. There is nothing more disruptive or annoying at a wedding than a cell phone or pager going off during a tender moment. Avoid taking photographs with a flash during the ceremony. In most cases, this is a religious ceremony and it should not be disrupted by camera flashes going off. If the bride and groom have hired a professional photographer, keep out of the photographer’s way and let him or her do their job.
15 January 2009
The Reception When you arrive at the reception, do not hit the buffet line as soon as you get there. The bride and groom always go first, followed by the wedding party. It is also rude to eat and run. Avoid leaving the reception before the dancing or post-dinner activities. If you have somewhere else to be shortly after the dinner, then do not attend the reception. If the reception dinner is buffet-style, do not go up for seconds, unless you see that everyone has had a crack at the buffet. It would be rude to go up for seconds before all the guests have had a chance to get something to eat. Also, avoid asking for a doggie bag to take food home, unless there are leftovers and you are encouraged by the bride and groom or someone in the wedding party to take food with you. Overindulging at the bar and becoming a spectacle at the reception is considered very rude. Grabbing the mike and singing "Living La Vida Loca" or pretending you are a contestant on "Dancing with the Stars" will take attention away from the bride and groom. Avoid gossiping or complaining at the reception. Even though receptions can get loud, it is possible people around you have good ears and can hear what you are saying. Do not complain about the long buffet line, quality of the food, the music, or compare this wedding to another you have attended. Be on your best behavior and keep those opinions to yourself. In the same vein, do not tell rude or embarrassing stories about the bride or groom. This is their special day and you do not want to ruin it by bringing up painful or embarrassing moments Do not hoard the wedding favors by taking more than one or getting extra to give to people who were not able to attend. Just take one for yourself, unless someone in the wedding party insists you take more. Also, do not take souvenirs from the ceremony or reception. There are countless horror stories of guests walking off with pew bows, centerpieces, and decorations. Sometimes these items are rented and have to be returned. You do not want the bride and groom to start off their married life hawking their wedding rings to pay for the rentals that were taken by guests. Gifts If you are attending the wedding, a gift is expected. The gift should be something both bride and groom can use. Traditionally, wedding gifts were sent to the bride’s home before or shortly after the wedding and never brought to the ceremony or reception. Today, however, bringing the gift to the wedding reception is considered acceptable. Usually, a gift table is set up at the reception for guests to leave their gifts. If the couple is getting married out of town or having a destination wedding, consider giving them a gift card/certificate or cash. Toasters, linens, and such will need to be shipped back home and this is an added expense newlyweds do not need. If you are unable to attend the wedding or reception, you are not expected to give a gift, but if you still want to give a gift, you can. The most important thing to remember is to be on your best behavior. Remember, this is the bride and groom’s day; it is their day to be the stars. So show them respect and make sure you do not do anything that makes you the center of attention. Ask yourself, "How would I want my guests to behave?" and you usually cannot go wrong. You can still have a lot of fun by being a respectful guest. Read Part 1
26 January 2009
With all the different events and announcements that go into a wedding, it is difficult for some couples to know how to properly go about dealing with everything. As far as wedding communication, there is a clear and concise difference between each facet, which can include engagement announcements, save-the-dates, wedding invitations, and wedding announcements. With just four things mentioned here, it can become quite confusing as to when each one should go out or even be used. The engagement announcement is probably the easiest one to figure out. The way these work is that the couple becomes engaged and then they spread this information to their family and friends. These announcements can be done quickly and without the stigma of having to invite recipients to the wedding. Engagement announcements can be sent out well before a wedding is even planned (a note on the card can mention that no date has been set) to individuals, done through email, printed in the local newspaper, or even on a blog! The save-the-date announcement is the next in the typical series of wedding-related communications. The save-the-date announcement is not the engagement announcement, as it specifically states the date of the wedding. However, the save-the-date announcement is also different from the wedding invitation because it does not include the venue, time, or reception information. It is simply meant to provide information to the invited guests about the date of the wedding and that they can expect an invitation shortly. It is advisable that couples send save-the- date announcements to only those guests that are invited to the wedding. The confusion generally comes when determining the difference between the wedding invitation and the wedding announcement. It is important to understand that the wedding invitation is sent 4 to 6 weeks before the event to those guests expected to attend the ceremony. The wedding invitation typically includes various elements of information including who is hosting the event, who is getting married, the date, the time, the location of the wedding ceremony, and the location of the reception. The wedding invitation should always include an RSVP card. This allows guests to indicate whether they will attend the wedding or not. Invitations also commonly include hotel information, directions, and suggested things to do in the area.
Read Part 2
27 January 2009
The wedding announcement is sent out the day of or shortly after the wedding takes place, especially to those who did not receive wedding invitations. Usually, the wedding announcement is sent to friends and family who were not invited to the main event due to space constraints or inability to travel. The wedding announcement simply states that the happy couple is now married. Unlike the wedding invitation, the announcement does not require any sort of acknowledgement on the part of the recipient. Also, gifts are appropriate, but not required in any way. Remember, in most cases, the wedding announcement is used after a couple elopes or has had an extremely small wedding with close friends and family only. The wedding announcement may be printed or written on formal invitation card stock or fine wedding stationary. Furthermore, it is important to note that wedding announcements are not required. They should also not take the place of individual thank you notes sent to guests of the wedding or those that sent gifts. The wording of the wedding announcement should be clear and concise — limited to only a few lines, taking up no more than one card. This is a good example of proper wedding announcement wording: Mr. and Mrs. David Johnson
Announce the marriage of their daughter
Emily Michelle
To
Mr. Michael Richard Smith
On Saturday, September the thirteenth
Two thousand and eight | It is important to remember that writing wedding announcements should not be a painstaking process. It should be simple and quick. It is also important to note that while wedding announcements are a nice touch after the wedding, they are not required. So if you are on a limited budget after the wedding, it is not an essential part of the wedding planning process. If you do feel that wedding announcements are necessary, expect to spend anywhere between $50 and $150 for about 50 announcements from a professional printer with a custom design. However, it is possible to purchase prepackaged wedding announcement cards that have spaces for you to fill in the information. These premade cards average between $5 and $10 for a package of six or eight. An excellent idea is to use any leftover paper or invitation materials for the announcements if you made the original invitations. When you are preparing your wedding be sure to keep in mind the difference between wedding invitations and wedding announcements. The main difference is that wedding invitations inform your guests that they are invited to the wedding and wedding announcements are sent out after the wedding. These announcements inform family and friends that did not attend the ceremony that you are now married. Read Part 1
15 June 2009
As with most aspects of a wedding there is "etiquette" for receiving gifts, and these rules are as basic as the manners we all learn as small children. It is not polite to ask for a gift and when you do receive a gift, be sure to say "thank you". Unfortunately, it seems that these basic principles have been long forgotten when it comes to planning a wedding. Today many couples are asking, "How can I ask for money in lieu of gifts" or "How do I let my guests know where I am registered." First and foremost, it is NEVER appropriate to ask for money as a gift. Couples should not plan on getting money or certain gifts, but one helpful way that couples can assist their guests in purchasing gifts is by using a bridal registry. A bridal registry is a way of communicating what the couple would like to receive. News of where a couple is registered should be passed along by word of mouth from close friends and family members and never, ever included with the wedding invitation. If you are sending out Save the Date cards, it is acceptable to mention where the bride and groom are registered. You should send out thank you notes as you start receiving gifts. The thank you notes should be hand written and should mention the specific gift you received. If you receive cash or a gift certificate, yon should NEVER thank the person for the $25 they sent you, but instead mention how yon plan to use the money or certificate.
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