• "A few years ago, I was an attendant for a friend's wedding. The bride's brother was an excellent vocalist and sang "Color My World" by Chicago at the end of the ceremony. The song was gorgeous until he reached the last line which should have been "...of loving you." He sang "...of losing you" instead. It was one of those moments you really wanted to laugh but everyone's eyes were all bugged out and no one even breathed."
   
• "We were guests at an outdoor wedding in a gorgeous park in Charleston, South Carolina. All six of the groomsmen were dressed in white tuxedos, very formal and elegant. Every single one of them had put on basketball tube socks with bright red banding around the tops which could be seen quite clearly. It was very distracting and looked hilarious."
   
• "I was at a wedding once where the bride was making her grand entrance, coming from a long black limousine. Her little sister was supposed to follow her, playing the Wedding March from a portable cd player. Apparently, though, they'd been listening to the player in the limo or earlier in the day, because when she pushed "play", the bride entered to the tune of "Mama Told Me Not to Come" by Three Dog Night instead. The bride started screaming at her sister, ordered her to get the right tape, and got back in the limo to wait. Thankfully, one of the groomsmen came up with the correct tape and the second time the bride stepped from the limo, she was all smiles and sweetness, as the Wedding March rang out."
   
• "At my brother's wedding, there was a large bridal party. The bride and all the attendants were waiting in a small side room, getting ready to line up, when we realized the four-year-old flower girl was missing! We all began searching for her in this huge Catholic church. I heard some whispering coming from the confessional booth, opened the door and there she was, kneeling and praying for her aunt and new uncle. It was such a sweet and tender moment, we all calmed down and were pretty relaxed."

1. Establish a realistic budget and follow it.
    
2. Be sure to read and fully understand every contract before you sign it.  If something is not clear or if you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask.
    
3. Request and verify references for all of your wedding professionals before you commit to hiring them.  A true professional will gladly supply you with names of past clients.
    
4. Keep written notes of all converstations between you and your wedding professionals.  Email (or provide a copy of) the notes to the particular professional so he or she will have a record as well.
    
5. Be on time for the wedding rehearsal and of course the wedding ceremony.  Running late will cause you to be nervous and you want to feel relaxed and enjoy the day.
    
6. Never assume that everyone knows what you want.  Communicate clearly with your wedding professionals.  They need to be told what you expect and will welcome the clarifications.
    
7. Conserve your energy!  Try not to schedule any activities during the wedding weekend.  Focus on the rehearsal and ceremony.
    
8. Keep up with those thank you notes.  As you receive a gift, write a note.  You really do not want to spend the first week after your honeymoon writing countless thank you notes.
    
9. Bachelor and bachelorette parties should be held one or two weeks BEFORE the wedding.  Never agree to one the night before the ceremony.  You want to enjoy the party AND your wedding.
    
10. Compile a manageable guest list with you groom; if cuts are necessary, do them together. "
     
11. Ask only family members and very close friends to be in your wedding party.
     
12. Be sure to keep your groom updated on all decisions that have been made, even if he acts like he really does not care.
     
13. Two weeks before the wedding, double check with ALL the wedding professionals to make sure they have the correct date, time, place and services they have been hired to perform.
     
14. On the day of the wedding, make sure the bride has plenty of time and room to prepare for her big day.
     
15. If something goes wrong, stay calm - every wedding usually has at least one small "glitch."  Do not feel that you have to take care of it; let someone else deal with it.

What if your sister, your cousin or even a very close friend suggests sharing your wedding day?  Most women, at first, would probably shy away from a double wedding.  But if the other bride is your sister, your parents will surely appreciate the substantial savings and the treasured memories.

From the start, all of the parties involved should have a group meeting to set the budget, agree on a ceremony site and the reception venue.  Consider your relationship with your co-bride.  If the two of you are totally different when it comes to fashion, you may want to forget the whole thing.  But if you are both fairly main stream, this could work out beautifully.  You can choose different dresses and colors just as long as they are complementary to each other.

Only one wedding invitation needs to be ordered!  This will save on postage as well as your wedding stationery.  The wording will be the same as on any other invitation except the older of the two brides and her groom should be listed first.

Another obvious savings will be with the flowers and the reception.  Most receptions today end up being the biggest expense.  But with a double wedding, there will be the benefit of having only one venue to rent, one band to book and one caterer to hire.

Make sure to honor the protocol of a double wedding ceremony.  The wedding party of the older of the two brides proceeds down the aisle first, followed by the older bride.  Then the bridal party for the second bride proceeds down the aisle, followed by the second bride.  The same applies when entering the reception hall.  Two full wedding parties can get rather large, so make sure the ceremony site and reception area are able to accommodate everyone without looking crowded and chaotic.

You also may decide to  have a double wedding shower.  This is very convenient for your guests.  But if you would like to retain some individuality, tactfully request doing some parties and/or showers separately.

A double wedding can save on expenses but create a wealth of memories for years to come.

• Time should be spelled out, but never capitalized.
• If the time is on the hour, it should be followed by o’clock.  Note the proper way is to have it all
• Lower case with an apostrophe.
• Do not use o’clock if the time is not on the hour.
• Time not on the hour should be hyphenated.  For example, one-thirty instead of on thirty or twelve forty-five instead of twelve forty five.
• Time should always be followed by in the morning, noon, in the afternoon, in the evening or midnight.  To clarify which is which, 12:01 a.m. – 11:59 a.m. is morning, 12:00 p.m. is noon, 12:01 p.m. – 5:59 p.m. is afternoon, 6:00 p.m. – 11:59 p.m. is evening, and 12:00 a.m. is midnight
  

• Time can either be spelled out using the invitation rules above or numerals may be used.
• When numerals are used, they should be followed by a.m. or p.m.  Note the proper way is lowercase and periods.
• Immediately can be used instead of an exact time.  The use of immediately and a time is unnecessary.  For example, ‘Reception immediately following ceremony’ is correct, but ‘Reception immediately following ceremony at six o’clock in the evening’ is incorrect.

• Invitations:
  The date should be spelled out at all times. It should be preceded by the day of the week and a comma should separate the two. The year should always be on a separate line and may be omitted if desired. A comma should not separate the month and year. Here is an example of the proper way to have the date:
            on Saturday, the first of November
            Two thousand and eight
  

• Accessory cards:
  If the time is used on the accessory card, be consistent with the date. When the time is spelled out, spell out the date.  If you use numerical time, then use a numerical date. If a time is not used, any format is acceptable.
  

Symbols:
We often see the use of symbols to represent words.  This is becoming more and more popular; however, it is a social faux pas.  You should never use symbols on the invitation.  For example, Mr. & Mrs. should always be Mr. and Mrs.

Capitalization:
Etiquette dictates certain protocols when it comes to capitalization.  Names of people and places are always capitalized.  When spelling out the year, capitalize the “t” in two, as seen above.  Sentences or each new thought on an invitation should always begin with a capital letter.

Zip Codes:
Zip codes do not belong on the invitation or most of the accessory cards.  They are appropriate only on the outer envelopes, R.S.V.P. envelopes and at home cards.

Spelling:
You should always ask someone else to proofread your wording.  Make sure you play close attention to proper nouns.  Many common words are often misspelled or misused.  For example, you should use night instead of nite. 

Respond Date:
The respond date should be two to four weeks before the wedding date.  This gives you enough time to count the number of people coming and allows you to plan accordingly.  The respond date should always be before the wedding date.  You would be surprised how many people get these two dates switched.  Be sure to check the dates before submitting the invitation order.

Consistency:
Keep the ink color consistent.  If you decide to use blue pearl ink on the invitations then use blue pearl ink on everything.  It looks better if all the ink colors match.  Use the same typestyle on the invitations and accessory cards.  If you use different typestyles it will look mismatched.  Use the accessory cards that match your invitations.  It makes a nice presentation to your guests if everything is consistent and matches.

Additional Tips:
Make sure you have filled out all the necessary information for every item.  Proof read the order before you submit it.  Make sure to order enough; it is much cheaper to order a few extra initially than it is to order a few extra later.  If your wedding date is more than six months away, consider sending a Save The Date Card six to twelve months before the wedding.  Then send your invitations four to six weeks before the wedding. 

If you have ordered your wedding invitations already, you have probably noticed that there are two different envelopes to use.  First, there is the outer envelope used for mailing.  Everything else goes inside this envelope.  Names and addresses are to be completely spelled out; no abbreviations are to be used.  The wording can either be centered or spread out.  Most of the time the address is centered because it is too long to be spread out.  Here is an example:

Mr. and Mrs. John J. Smith 123 South Main Street New York, New York  10012

 The outer envelope will also have the return address of the person issuing the invitations, for example the bride's parents.  The post office prefers that you put on the front upper left corner.  This is not proper for an invitation.  The proper place for the return address on the outer envelope is the back flap.  Again, everything should be spelled out; however, it will just have the address and no names.

The inner envelope has no glue and will contain your invitation; the inner envelope goes inside the outer envelope.  Your guest's names will be repeated on this envelope, but in a more personal manner.  For a couple with children, the parents' names would appear on the first line with the children's names on the line underneath.  Here is an example:

John and Susan Johnny and Timmy

Your wedding invitations will be your first chance to make an impression on your guests. Its sole purpose is to not only inform them of the date, time and location of the wedding ceremony and reception, but to also set the tone of the wedding or let them know your theme. So it is very important to make sure your invitations are worded correctly. Here are just a few things to keep in mind when wording and sending out your wedding invitations:

• You should not order your invitations until the details of your wedding have been finalized. The wedding date, time and location must all be confirmed in order to have accurate information on your invitations.
• When you are ready to write your invitation wording and start shopping for that perfect wedding invitation, make sure you convey the formality of your wedding to your guests. They want and need to know what kind of wedding you will be having and your wording and choice of wedding invitation will convey this information to them.

If you are planning a formal wedding, you should choose a wedding invitation that is either white or ecru, with no color accents. It should have no border, or a simple beveled border. Avoid invitations with motifs like flowers, birds, and hearts. An example of formal wording is:

The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Bride’s full name to Groom’s full name etc.

For less formal weddings, you can choose an invitation with color accents and motifs. You wording would read something like this:

Because you have shared in their lives by your friendship and love your presence is requested as Bride’s full name and Groom’s full name exchange marriage vows etc.

If you are having a themed wedding, you can incorporate this in your choice of wedding invitation and wording. For example, if you are having a beach-themed wedding, choose an invitation with a beach scene, shells, lighthouse, etc. Your wording can also convey your theme. For example:

Friends forever we will be whether walking on the beach or sailing on the sea... Please be our guest as we Bride’s full name and Groom’s full name join together in marriage on Saturday, the first of August Two thousand and nine at five o’clock in the afternoon on the beach at Grand Haven State Park Grand Haven, Michigan

• If parents are hosting (paying) for the wedding, do not forget to incorporate their names into the wedding invitation. If the bride’s parents are hosting, you could word your invitation as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Mary Anne to Mr. Robert Alan Johnston etc.

If both bride and groom’s parents are hosting, you can word your invitations as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith Mr. and Mrs. Albert Johnston request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children Mary Anne and Robert Alan

Today, many brides and grooms come from blended families, so listing the names of all the parents can become a challenge and can make your wedding invitation look crowded. To avoid listing all the parents, and thus overshadowing the bride and groom, it is recommended that you don’t list them all by name, but list them as a group. For example:

The parents of Mary Anne Smith and Robert Alan Johnston request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children etc.

This way, the parents are acknowledged as the hosts without dedicating three or four lines on your wedding invitation to listing them all.

• Never list or mention a deceased parent (or other close relative) on your wedding invitations. Your wedding is supposed to be a day of joy, and you do not want to bring your guests down by mentioning someone who has passed on. You can honor that person during your ceremony by lighting a candle in remembrance, have a special reading dedicated to that person, have a special table set up with that person’s photo, etc.
• Never put a gift registry or ask for monetary gifts on your wedding invitation. This information can go on your shower invitations, wedding web site, or have members of your family and bridal party spread the word by mouth. If you have a wedding web site, you can enclose a card with your invitation mentioning your site. When they get to your site, your gift registry information or your preference for monetary gifts can be listed.
• Do not put the dress code for your wedding on the invitation. Your guests will know the formality of your wedding by how you word your invitations. If you feel you must indicate the dress code, put this information on a separate card and include it with the invitation.
• If your reception is being held in a different location than the ceremony, avoid putting this information on the wedding invitation. Purchase a reception card.
• If you are having a lot of out-of-town guests, be courteous and include map cards and accommodation cards.
• Once you have written you wedding invitation wording, be sure to proofread it several times to make sure everything is correct. Consider having someone else, like your fiancé, maid of honor, mother, or future mother-in-law, look at it to make sure you have not missed anything. There is nothing more heartbreaking than finding out after the invitations have been printed that you have misspelled the groom’s middle name or put the wrong address for the church.

• Make sure you order enough wedding invitations. It is recommended that you order at least 25 more invitations than you think you will need. You never know when additional guests are going to be added to your guest list, so it is important to have a buffer in case your list increases. And do not forget to order extra envelopes. Whether you hire a calligrapher to address the invitations, or you and your wedding party are doing the addressing, you will want to have extra envelopes in case of mistakes. If you order extra invitations and envelopes up front, you will avoid having to go back to order again and paying a big price.
• Do not wait until the last minute to order your invitations. You should order your invitations four to six months before the wedding. This will allow you plenty of time to get the invitations addressed, sent out, and give your guests time to make plans to attend the wedding. If you send out your invitations too close to the wedding date, your guests may already have plans or may have difficulty making travel and accommodation arrangements.
• When it comes time to address the envelopes, make sure you have spelled your guest’s name right, use their correct title (Mr., Miss, Doctor, Judge, etc.) and their address is correct. If you are not sure of their information, give them a call. They will appreciate you having enough respect for them to get the information right.
• Avoid putting "and Guest" on the envelope when the recipient is in a long-term relationship or engaged. Again, do your homework and find out this information. You can call the guest directly and ask for their significant other’s name or ask a friend or relative. It is a courteous act and good invitation etiquette.
• When it is time to mail your wedding invitations, make sure you have them weighed at the post office to ensure you have the correct postage. Wedding invitations are normally heavier than the average letter or card, so expect to pay more for postage. To prevent your invitations from arriving with postage due or being returned for insufficient postage, put together a complete invitation and take it to the post office to be weighed. Also, don’t forget to put a stamp on the respond card envelopes. Your guests should not have to pay to respond to your wedding.

With all the different events and announcements that go into a wedding, it is difficult for some couples to know how to properly go about dealing with everything. As far as wedding communication, there is a clear and concise difference between each facet, which can include engagement announcements, save-the-dates, wedding invitations, and wedding announcements. With just four things mentioned here, it can become quite confusing as to when each one should go out or even be used.

The engagement announcement is probably the easiest one to figure out. The way these work is that the couple becomes engaged and then they spread this information to their family and friends. These announcements can be done quickly and without the stigma of having to invite recipients to the wedding. Engagement announcements can be sent out well before a wedding is even planned (a note on the card can mention that no date has been set) to individuals, done through email, printed in the local newspaper, or even on a blog!

The save-the-date announcement is the next in the typical series of wedding-related communications. The save-the-date announcement is not the engagement announcement, as it specifically states the date of the wedding. However, the save-the-date announcement is also different from the wedding invitation because it does not include the venue, time, or reception information. It is simply meant to provide information to the invited guests about the date of the wedding and that they can expect an invitation shortly. It is advisable that couples send save-the- date announcements to only those guests that are invited to the wedding.

The confusion generally comes when determining the difference between the wedding invitation and the wedding announcement. It is important to understand that the wedding invitation is sent 4 to 6 weeks before the event to those guests expected to attend the ceremony. The wedding invitation typically includes various elements of information including who is hosting the event, who is getting married, the date, the time, the location of the wedding ceremony, and the location of the reception. The wedding invitation should always include an RSVP card. This allows guests to indicate whether they will attend the wedding or not. Invitations also commonly include hotel information, directions, and suggested things to do in the area.

Read Part 2

The wedding announcement is sent out the day of or shortly after the wedding takes place, especially to those who did not receive wedding invitations. Usually, the wedding announcement is sent to friends and family who were not invited to the main event due to space constraints or inability to travel. The wedding announcement simply states that the happy couple is now married. Unlike the wedding invitation, the announcement does not require any sort of acknowledgement on the part of the recipient. Also, gifts are appropriate, but not required in any way.

Remember, in most cases, the wedding announcement is used after a couple elopes or has had an extremely small wedding with close friends and family only.

The wedding announcement may be printed or written on formal invitation card stock or fine wedding stationary. Furthermore, it is important to note that wedding announcements are not required. They should also not take the place of individual thank you notes sent to guests of the wedding or those that sent gifts.

The wording of the wedding announcement should be clear and concise — limited to only a few lines, taking up no more than one card. This is a good example of proper wedding announcement wording:

Mr. and Mrs. David Johnson Announce the marriage of their daughter Emily Michelle To Mr. Michael Richard Smith On Saturday, September the thirteenth Two thousand and eight

It is important to remember that writing wedding announcements should not be a painstaking process. It should be simple and quick. It is also important to note that while wedding announcements are a nice touch after the wedding, they are not required. So if you are on a limited budget after the wedding, it is not an essential part of the wedding planning process.

If you do feel that wedding announcements are necessary, expect to spend anywhere between $50 and $150 for about 50 announcements from a professional printer with a custom design. However, it is possible to purchase prepackaged wedding announcement cards that have spaces for you to fill in the information. These premade cards average between $5 and $10 for a package of six or eight. An excellent idea is to use any leftover paper or invitation materials for the announcements if you made the original invitations.

When you are preparing your wedding be sure to keep in mind the difference between wedding invitations and wedding announcements. The main difference is that wedding invitations inform your guests that they are invited to the wedding and wedding announcements are sent out after the wedding. These announcements inform family and friends that did not attend the ceremony that you are now married.

Read Part 1