Being chosen as the maid/matron of honor means that you play a big part in making sure the wedding is a big success. In all honesty, the maid of honor usually plays a bigger part in the wedding planning than the groom. To put it simply, your duty is to take as much stress off the bride as possible and assist with whatever possible. As the maid/matron of honor, you will have a number of responsibilities including the following:

Before the Wedding:

• Assist the bride in finding ceremony and reception locations, reception food, wedding cake, flowers, etc.
• Assist the bride in choosing her wedding invitations, assembling and addressing the envelopes (if a calligrapher is not hired).
• Assist in assembling favors.
• Go with the bride as she shops for her wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses. Your feedback will help the bride make one of the most important decisions of her wedding. It will also be your responsibility to keep track of dress fittings, and the bridesmaids’ appointments and obligations.
• Plan and host the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Attend all pre-wedding parties. You also need to record all the gifts received at the various wedding parties, so the bride knows who gave her what when it comes time to write the thank you notes.
• Attend and help out at the rehearsal dinner.

The Wedding Day:

• Arrive early at the ceremony site to help everyone get ready.
• Hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony.
• Make sure the bride’s dress is free of twists and folds and her train is straight before she walks down the aisle and again once she is standing in position for the ceremony.
• Adjust her hair and straighten her veil.
• Hold the groom’s ring until the designated time in the ceremony.
• Witnessing and signing the marriage certificate.
• Stand in the receiving line.
• Make a toast and/or speech at the reception.
• If someone else has not been designated this job, take responsibility for any gifts brought to the reception.
• Take care of the bride’s dress after she has changed. This can entail taking it to the cleaners, having it professionally stored or returned to the rental shop.

Your most important job will be to provide moral support and be a good listener. Keep in mind that planning a wedding is very stressful and you want to keep the bride calm and in a positive mood. It is a job to be taken seriously and will require a lot of work on your part.

As a bridesmaid, you will play a strong supportive role for the bride. Even though the Maid/Matron of Honor has the bulk of the duties, your help will be needed throughout the wedding planning process. You will be needed to offer comfort to a stressed out bride and give your opinion when the bride needs it. You will also be helping the maid of honor with some of her responsibilities. Here are some of the things you will need to do to help plan the bride’s special day:

• Offer to be the bride’s chauffer when she needs to scout out wedding locations, bridal shops, caterers, florists, etc.
• If you have nice penmanship or know how to do calligraphy, volunteer to address the invitations.
• The bride may need help ordering and choosing favors and decorations. Your opinions may be helpful in making decisions for narrowing down choices and making sure the decorations arrive on time for the wedding or shower.
• Be available if the bride asks you to go shopping for her wedding dress and or bridesmaids dresses.
• Make sure to pick up your bridesmaid dress in a reasonable amount of time in case of additional fittings or alterations.
• Often time, the groom does not want to go to register with his bride-to-be. You can be very supportive by going with your friend to register for her wedding gifts as well as letting other guests know where the bride and groom are registered.
• Assist the bride with seating arrangements at the reception.
• Assist the Maid/Matron of Honor in planning the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party.
• Attend any pre-wedding parties (engagement, showers, bachelorette, etc.)
• Attend and help out during the rehearsal dinner.

The Wedding Day:

• Assist the bride getting into her dress, make-up and hair if needed.
• Ask the bride if she needs anything (food, water, etc.) all the way up until it is time for her to walk down the aisle.
• Assist the other bridesmaids on where to go and timing, especially if they show up late.
• Help make sure the bride has privacy if she needs some quiet time before the ceremony.
• If needed, assist guests to their seats and be social prior to the wedding. 
• Always be on the lookout for the unexpected problems and assist when needed. If you are close enough, fix what needs fixing so the bride, groom and their families can focus on the ceremony.
• Be social and dance at the reception.

Just like the maid of honor, your most important job will be to provide moral support and be a good listener. Keep in mind that planning a wedding is very stressful and you want to keep the bride calm and in a positive mood. It is a job to be taken seriously and will require a lot of work on your part.