In doing research for your wedding, I’m sure you’ve come across more than a few articles that give tips and ideas on ways do to things the “right” way, from being a gracious bride to planning a reception that will be comfortable and enjoyable for your guests. This article takes a different approach, by pointing out how to be the worst, I hope you will learn how to be the best.
Photo Credit: David Machiavello
Make sure the bride knows that you hate the wedding colors, that you think the dress is ugly and that the wedding location is something out of your worst nightmares. Don’t forget to mention how much you loath weddings and what a favor you are doing for her just by agreeing to be in the wedding in the first place.
Refuse to be involved
Take the hands off approach, after all this isn’t your day, and besides, you can’t be bothered to keep track of a to-do list. If she calls, just send her to voice mail and by all means, ignore all of her texts. Especially the ones marked 911.
Photo Credit: Chimes Design
Don’t get the Dress
Wait until the last possible second before informing the bride that you failed to buy the dress 8 months ago and now the store is sold out. Be sure to have a big smile on your face when you tell her that it will be 3 months before the store will have more in stock but it’s ok because you’re sure you have an old prom dress in your closet, somewhere.
Remember, you are doing her a favor by being in the wedding, the least she can do is provide you with a special menu tailored to your specific dietary needs. Then don’t forget to go on about how much the food sucks and proclaim, loudly, that you wouldn’t feed it to a starving dog.
Photo Credit: Ell Brown
Show up Late for the Wedding
Don’t set your alarm clock, you never -ever- set it for the week ends and why should this day be any different? While you’re at it, misplace the directions, lock your keys in the car, run out of gas and arrive at least 1 hour late. Run in, prom dress in hand, proclaiming, “thanks for waiting, we can start now that the important person is here”.