Q: Recently a good friend told me that it is now considered improper to actually take your wedding gift to the wedding. She says that modern etiquette dictates that gifts should be delivered to the couple before or after the wedding, but not given at the actual event. Is this true? — Katie from NC
A: In a way, it’s true. In a way, it’s not. I have noticed fewer and fewer gifts at weddings these days, but I don’t think it’s “improper” to take your gift with you to the ceremony/reception if that is what you desire to do. Most couples will be happy to receive your gift – no matter when you decide to hand it over!
However, it may simply be easier and more considerate to ship your gift. This way, the new couple doesn’t have to worry about keeping track of it during their big, busy day. And, you don’t have to worry about dragging it around with you. For these reasons, and a few others, it’s become more and more popular to ship (or hand deliver) your gift! Also, quite a few couples opt to get married out-of-town these days. Whether they wed in a far-away destination, or they say “I do” in a hometown that they no longer reside in, it would be a challenge for them to tote their gifts around as they travel. If you are going to a wedding in a town where the bride and groom don’t live, you will absolutely want to ship their gift to them rather than take it with you!
When shipping gifts, traditional wedding etiquette says that they should go to the bride’s home or the home of the bride’s parents prior to the wedding or to the couple’s home after the wedding. If the couple already lives together, ship the gift to their current address.
If you do decide to bring your gift along with you to the ceremony or reception, don’t worry! It is still quite common for couples to have a small table and card box to accommodate gifts!
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