The Ring Bearer

The ring bearer is usually a young boy between the ages of 4 and 8 who has a special connection to the bride and groom. He may be related to them or just be a family friend. The ring bearer walks down the aisle immediately after the flower girl, or last bridesmaid, with the wedding rings tied to a small pillow.

When it comes time to choose your ring bearer, choose someone who is responsible and is old enough to take his role seriously. Avoid choosing someone who is too young. He can become confused and even scared walking down the aisle by himself.

After you have chosen your ring bearer, make sure to sit down with him and explain what his role is, and help him to understand its importance. Seat his parents (or if he is your child, a close relative he is familiar with) on the aisle, near the front so that he can see them when he walks down the aisle. Assign a groomsman to be his buddy. His buddy should make sure he uses the restroom before the ceremony, his hair is combed, etc. Try to ease his anxiety by tying fake rings to the pillow and wait until he is about ready to walk down the aisle to give him the pillow. Ask his parents to bring a change of clothes for the reception. Most little boys don’t like to where dressy clothes and having a pair of casual clothes for the reception will make him more comfortable. Keep in mind, the younger your ring bearer, the more you have to be prepared for things to go wrong and be okay with whatever happens. If you’re the perfectionist type, choose an older ring bearer, or go without on altogether.

A ring bearer usually wears a tiny tuxedo (for that mini-groomsman look) or a nice suit. For the younger ring bearer, an Eton jacket with short pants is a classic. Most bridal and tuxedo rental shops have ring bearer suits available.

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